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life is wearing me thin
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<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 122157" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>Willow, the only thing I can think of (from personal experience) is that there may be an HR angle that your boss has to cover. Do you work for a big company? If so, there are definite rules that have to be followed when dealing with problem employees.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, these rules usually put a lot of stress and strain on the supervisor as well. Sad, but true.</p><p></p><p>If you want, two of my horror stories for counterpoint:</p><p></p><p>(a) I was working as the team chief for a group of programmers at the Pentagon. I had one programmer who had very low skills, but for some reason had a very high-profile project (software used by USAF and Congress during budgeting). I took over the team just before the new budgeting cycle started, and we were due to get the latest version of the software out for use by a strict deadline.</p><p></p><p>In a word, the software sucked. It didn't work, and besides that the programmer decides to take two weeks of vacation during this period, and because she was a govt. worker I couldn't stop her. So, a CMSgt that worked for me (who was two weeks from retirement) spent an entire weekend in that god-awful building. He corrected over two hundred programming errors, and delivered a working product.</p><p></p><p>Programmer gets back three days later, pitches a FIT saying I had no right to go into HER code and make changes, that there was nothing wrong. She promptly put all the bugs back into the program and submitted it to HQ USAF. The next three months were more of the same, so when it came time for her annual review I was accurate, thorough, and not very flattering.</p><p></p><p>A week later, I was answering charges of discrimination (race and sex), defamation, and other horrible allegations to our General. She pointed to years of "glowing" reviews prior to my taking over the team, and that it wasn't a coincidence that I was the first one to rate her as such a poor performer.</p><p></p><p>The fact that I had evidence, emails, a CMSgt with 30+ years backing me up; I lost, and was forced to change my review because I didn't follow "proper procedures" when I felt she was an underachiever. Lots more to the story, but she was a parasite who knew how to work the system. Lesson learned.</p><p></p><p>(b)I had a similar situation years later as a manager where there was a conflict with a female worker in another group. She felt slighted that I (the I.T. Director) didn't cave in to her demands and buy her hardware that was thousands more than the systems all the other developers got. I calmly told her to go back to her boss, get him to approve the additional costs, and I'd gladly buy her whatever he approved. Later that month, she screwed up her computer, missed a deadline, then tried to blame it on two of my team members (until we proved that she was the cause of her own demise).</p><p></p><p>Fast forward a few months later. I was trying to ease the tension with this woman. She was in the hall with a group of four other ladies who were also friends of mine. I stopped in, made idle chit-chat for a minute or two, shook a hand or two, then put my hand on this woman's shoulder for <strong>two seconds</strong> to get her attention and ask how she was doing. She said "Fine" and then ran off.</p><p></p><p>A week later, I find that I'm accused of sexual harassment by this woman. I calmly went to HR to explain what actually happened. Didn't help - she says I acted in a "threatening and demeaning manner towards her, and made her feel unsafe in her work environment". <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /></p><p></p><p>I gave HR the names of the four other persons there, who backed me up and said that this woman was trying to settle old debts with false accusations. Still a no-go. I was "asked" to attend coaching, management, and sensitivity training, and that if I successfully completed said training there would be no permanent entry in my HR file.</p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> </p><p></p><p>I guess the upshot is that I've learned the hard way that companies (including the govt.) will almost always seek to protect themselves from lawsuits, no matter what the cost to other people. Even if they think they can win, they won't fight because winning in court against such accusations usually costs the company in bad publicity. Better to simply make the issue go away quietly.</p><p></p><p>Well, that's my impression, for what it's worth. Not that it helps anything, but I commiserate with you. Keep your head up; you didn't do anything wrong, and there's a really good chance that everyone but the person you're having the conflict with knows that.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 122157, member: 3579"] Willow, the only thing I can think of (from personal experience) is that there may be an HR angle that your boss has to cover. Do you work for a big company? If so, there are definite rules that have to be followed when dealing with problem employees. Unfortunately, these rules usually put a lot of stress and strain on the supervisor as well. Sad, but true. If you want, two of my horror stories for counterpoint: (a) I was working as the team chief for a group of programmers at the Pentagon. I had one programmer who had very low skills, but for some reason had a very high-profile project (software used by USAF and Congress during budgeting). I took over the team just before the new budgeting cycle started, and we were due to get the latest version of the software out for use by a strict deadline. In a word, the software sucked. It didn't work, and besides that the programmer decides to take two weeks of vacation during this period, and because she was a govt. worker I couldn't stop her. So, a CMSgt that worked for me (who was two weeks from retirement) spent an entire weekend in that god-awful building. He corrected over two hundred programming errors, and delivered a working product. Programmer gets back three days later, pitches a FIT saying I had no right to go into HER code and make changes, that there was nothing wrong. She promptly put all the bugs back into the program and submitted it to HQ USAF. The next three months were more of the same, so when it came time for her annual review I was accurate, thorough, and not very flattering. A week later, I was answering charges of discrimination (race and sex), defamation, and other horrible allegations to our General. She pointed to years of "glowing" reviews prior to my taking over the team, and that it wasn't a coincidence that I was the first one to rate her as such a poor performer. The fact that I had evidence, emails, a CMSgt with 30+ years backing me up; I lost, and was forced to change my review because I didn't follow "proper procedures" when I felt she was an underachiever. Lots more to the story, but she was a parasite who knew how to work the system. Lesson learned. (b)I had a similar situation years later as a manager where there was a conflict with a female worker in another group. She felt slighted that I (the I.T. Director) didn't cave in to her demands and buy her hardware that was thousands more than the systems all the other developers got. I calmly told her to go back to her boss, get him to approve the additional costs, and I'd gladly buy her whatever he approved. Later that month, she screwed up her computer, missed a deadline, then tried to blame it on two of my team members (until we proved that she was the cause of her own demise). Fast forward a few months later. I was trying to ease the tension with this woman. She was in the hall with a group of four other ladies who were also friends of mine. I stopped in, made idle chit-chat for a minute or two, shook a hand or two, then put my hand on this woman's shoulder for [B]two seconds[/B] to get her attention and ask how she was doing. She said "Fine" and then ran off. A week later, I find that I'm accused of sexual harassment by this woman. I calmly went to HR to explain what actually happened. Didn't help - she says I acted in a "threatening and demeaning manner towards her, and made her feel unsafe in her work environment". :2hot: I gave HR the names of the four other persons there, who backed me up and said that this woman was trying to settle old debts with false accusations. Still a no-go. I was "asked" to attend coaching, management, and sensitivity training, and that if I successfully completed said training there would be no permanent entry in my HR file. :2hot: :2hot: :2hot: :2hot: :2hot: I guess the upshot is that I've learned the hard way that companies (including the govt.) will almost always seek to protect themselves from lawsuits, no matter what the cost to other people. Even if they think they can win, they won't fight because winning in court against such accusations usually costs the company in bad publicity. Better to simply make the issue go away quietly. Well, that's my impression, for what it's worth. Not that it helps anything, but I commiserate with you. Keep your head up; you didn't do anything wrong, and there's a really good chance that everyone but the person you're having the conflict with knows that. Mikey [/QUOTE]
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