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Life out of balance--emotionally drained from son with mental illness
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<blockquote data-quote="Mama5" data-source="post: 716291" data-attributes="member: 22140"><p>I have been in your shoes, too. One time last fall before he moved out completely, I dropped him off at an exit because he and his dad had been fighting. He said he had a friend to stay with at this exit in a city close by, and wouldn't come home with me. I knew he was living on the street and he wouldn't answer my calls for five days when I tried to check on him. I can't tell you how many times I've said to myself this week, How could you leave your schizophrenic mentally ill son begging for you to come get him in jail? I've been really depressed today. Work this week kept me distracted. My mind has too much time to think about it today. I want to be strong, but I think my mother's instinct to protect and save my kids kicks in and makes me feel like I'm going against my nature. Another time he left the hotel and ended up on the streets for three nights. The worst storm imaginable happened the second night he was out there. He didn't even have a cell phone. On the other hand, we've got to quit beating ourselves up. I think when this guilt stuff starts, I need to realize that my mom nature routines have NOT been working with this 24 year old man. I need to be strong, stop feeling guilt, and realize I'm doing this to try to change the course of his life. It might fall flat. But, I tried something different. This course of action is certainly a lot harder than rushing to save him. I probably should feel guiltier if I rush to rescue him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mama5, post: 716291, member: 22140"] I have been in your shoes, too. One time last fall before he moved out completely, I dropped him off at an exit because he and his dad had been fighting. He said he had a friend to stay with at this exit in a city close by, and wouldn't come home with me. I knew he was living on the street and he wouldn't answer my calls for five days when I tried to check on him. I can't tell you how many times I've said to myself this week, How could you leave your schizophrenic mentally ill son begging for you to come get him in jail? I've been really depressed today. Work this week kept me distracted. My mind has too much time to think about it today. I want to be strong, but I think my mother's instinct to protect and save my kids kicks in and makes me feel like I'm going against my nature. Another time he left the hotel and ended up on the streets for three nights. The worst storm imaginable happened the second night he was out there. He didn't even have a cell phone. On the other hand, we've got to quit beating ourselves up. I think when this guilt stuff starts, I need to realize that my mom nature routines have NOT been working with this 24 year old man. I need to be strong, stop feeling guilt, and realize I'm doing this to try to change the course of his life. It might fall flat. But, I tried something different. This course of action is certainly a lot harder than rushing to save him. I probably should feel guiltier if I rush to rescue him. [/QUOTE]
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Life out of balance--emotionally drained from son with mental illness
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