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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 369491" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>The first thing that comes to my mind is the fact that they do not have a strict medication policy especially for an 11 year old difficult child. That is a huge red flag for me. As mental health providers you would like to think they would be aware of what medications your difficult child is on and be responsible for them while your difficult child is in their care. That in itself sets such an unprofessional precedent that my opinions on the rest are a bit biased.</p><p> </p><p>Lunch is such a critical thing when it comes to routines and difficult child's moods. In my case difficult child is 16 and in a regular school so it is his problem. In your case your difficult child is in a specialized program. Once again you would think someone would notice. I would wonder if that goes unchecked how they can offer higher level care at all? Unless they provide alternative meals it is an issue. If their job is to help difficult child get on track meals are a vital part of that. If it is an issue that is ongoing they should let the parent know.</p><p> </p><p>Overlooking those two basic needs would be worrisome to me especially with "experts". </p><p> </p><p>I would ask to meet with the teacher or director to ask questions. Don't go in with any agenda in mind, just seem genuinely curious. Then if you can ask to observe difficult child in an unobtrusive way do it. If you approach as a concerned parent who wants to help them they should be more than nice about it. If they get touchy about you observing or defensive about their methods and your questions all the while expecting you to just sit back and trust the process I would consider it another red flag. They should have nothing to hide and be there to help facilitate you and difficult child so an active participating parent *should* be a good thing.</p><p> </p><p>While I agree that sometimes difficult child's get worse while their routine changes the staff should be able to tie all the services togethor and give you *actual* help rather than glorified daycare and lip service. If they agreed to do certain things they are obligated to provide them. If they are in any way state funded good luck with that. In my experience the state paid networks are often paycheck chasers, gravy trains and wanna be experts who are not much help. Though that can vary I am yet to see it for myself. </p><p> </p><p>Start keeping a log of events and observations. Those are so vital if things begin to get hazy. That way you have a record over time if things continue to be fishy. If not it can at least lend you some insight into your difficult child. I keep mood and behavior logs on my difficult child just for home time and it is amazing how much I learned about him by looking back over time. The same may help you regardless of if this works out well or not with your services.</p><p> </p><p>If things are not up to snuff you will need documentation. Again, in my experience rocking the boat when professionals are not performing to task ruffles their tail feathers. If they take it personally rather than a reminder or a suggestion they can really make your life difficult. Many of these people tend to have long term working realtionships so when some "whiney" parent has a legitimate gripe it can be hard to get heard because they may stand united as an obstacle for you.</p><p> </p><p>Ask nicely at first and give them a chance to clear things up. If that fails most providers public and private have rights and responsibilities for clients as well as grievance procedures. People rarely pursue it but if you are between a rock and a hard place it may be all you have. Regardless of if they are self pay, insurance or state aide paid they are obligated to provide the services you contracted with them for. You don't need to accept cut corners.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 369491, member: 8617"] The first thing that comes to my mind is the fact that they do not have a strict medication policy especially for an 11 year old difficult child. That is a huge red flag for me. As mental health providers you would like to think they would be aware of what medications your difficult child is on and be responsible for them while your difficult child is in their care. That in itself sets such an unprofessional precedent that my opinions on the rest are a bit biased. Lunch is such a critical thing when it comes to routines and difficult child's moods. In my case difficult child is 16 and in a regular school so it is his problem. In your case your difficult child is in a specialized program. Once again you would think someone would notice. I would wonder if that goes unchecked how they can offer higher level care at all? Unless they provide alternative meals it is an issue. If their job is to help difficult child get on track meals are a vital part of that. If it is an issue that is ongoing they should let the parent know. Overlooking those two basic needs would be worrisome to me especially with "experts". I would ask to meet with the teacher or director to ask questions. Don't go in with any agenda in mind, just seem genuinely curious. Then if you can ask to observe difficult child in an unobtrusive way do it. If you approach as a concerned parent who wants to help them they should be more than nice about it. If they get touchy about you observing or defensive about their methods and your questions all the while expecting you to just sit back and trust the process I would consider it another red flag. They should have nothing to hide and be there to help facilitate you and difficult child so an active participating parent *should* be a good thing. While I agree that sometimes difficult child's get worse while their routine changes the staff should be able to tie all the services togethor and give you *actual* help rather than glorified daycare and lip service. If they agreed to do certain things they are obligated to provide them. If they are in any way state funded good luck with that. In my experience the state paid networks are often paycheck chasers, gravy trains and wanna be experts who are not much help. Though that can vary I am yet to see it for myself. Start keeping a log of events and observations. Those are so vital if things begin to get hazy. That way you have a record over time if things continue to be fishy. If not it can at least lend you some insight into your difficult child. I keep mood and behavior logs on my difficult child just for home time and it is amazing how much I learned about him by looking back over time. The same may help you regardless of if this works out well or not with your services. If things are not up to snuff you will need documentation. Again, in my experience rocking the boat when professionals are not performing to task ruffles their tail feathers. If they take it personally rather than a reminder or a suggestion they can really make your life difficult. Many of these people tend to have long term working realtionships so when some "whiney" parent has a legitimate gripe it can be hard to get heard because they may stand united as an obstacle for you. Ask nicely at first and give them a chance to clear things up. If that fails most providers public and private have rights and responsibilities for clients as well as grievance procedures. People rarely pursue it but if you are between a rock and a hard place it may be all you have. Regardless of if they are self pay, insurance or state aide paid they are obligated to provide the services you contracted with them for. You don't need to accept cut corners. [/QUOTE]
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