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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663430" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Lil, that is the point, that you suffer.</p><p></p><p>He is going for the jugular here. He will not stop until blood gushes. From you. Turn off the phone.</p><p></p><p>He believes that if he can get you to bleed, you will do something to make him feel better. Until that link is broken, he will keep trying to evoke a pain response in you.</p><p></p><p>He does it because it is a habit. He also does it because it is easier to make you do something for him, than he do it himself.</p><p></p><p>At this point I think anything you do for him (anything) will just reinforce the link. Let me put it another way: there is not one thing you can do for him (work clothes, nail clippers, anything) that will not reinforce in him the belief that if he shows you that he is in distress or need....you will get him out of it....if he causes you to hurt bad enough.</p><p></p><p>This link needs to be extinguished in his brain. It will only be extinguished if you do nothing. NOTHING.</p><p></p><p>The worst is intermittent reinforcement. That is, sometimes, and unpredictably providing the desired reward. Doing that is interpreted by the brain as a reward...and they learn that even if there is not an immediate reward...if they keep it up long enough, eventually one will be forthcoming. It is the worst thing you can do to extinguish a behavior in somebody else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663430, member: 18958"] Lil, that is the point, that you suffer. He is going for the jugular here. He will not stop until blood gushes. From you. Turn off the phone. He believes that if he can get you to bleed, you will do something to make him feel better. Until that link is broken, he will keep trying to evoke a pain response in you. He does it because it is a habit. He also does it because it is easier to make you do something for him, than he do it himself. At this point I think anything you do for him (anything) will just reinforce the link. Let me put it another way: there is not one thing you can do for him (work clothes, nail clippers, anything) that will not reinforce in him the belief that if he shows you that he is in distress or need....you will get him out of it....if he causes you to hurt bad enough. This link needs to be extinguished in his brain. It will only be extinguished if you do nothing. NOTHING. The worst is intermittent reinforcement. That is, sometimes, and unpredictably providing the desired reward. Doing that is interpreted by the brain as a reward...and they learn that even if there is not an immediate reward...if they keep it up long enough, eventually one will be forthcoming. It is the worst thing you can do to extinguish a behavior in somebody else. [/QUOTE]
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