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Parent Emeritus
Long, long journey to acceptance (swiped from a line by COM on another thread)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627899" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Broke my heart. I wonder how he will respond...if he will respect your sad boundary. I don't think so. difficult child's don't understand boundaries. Be prepared in advance to protect your heart and expect him to either call, crying and sounding all apologetic and guilty or furious and all about how it's YOUR fault. Do not be blindsided. Plan your response to any response he may have. If he is afraid you will not be sending him any more money, he may be frantic and furious so he could use either response. If he is honestly sorry, but unwilling to change, expect "I'm no good, I'm a screw up, etc." But don't expect change because of your letter. Make #1 Priority be yourself. BE SAFE AND GOOD TO YOU!</p><p></p><p>I love COM's "This conversation is over." Or whoever said that. It's very helpful.</p><p></p><p>Another sad thing about difficult children is that we pour out our heart and soul and after I did that once to 36 he never did respond to me about my feelings. When I asked if he'd read the letter he said, as if he'd just remembered, "Oh, no, I threw it in the garbage after the first paragraph. Not going to sit and read your meltdown. Don't waste your time doing that again because you're just being an emotional woman." This was a long, long time ago and I don't quite recall his exact words, but it is possible he asked, "Were you on the rag when you wrote that?" He would ask if I was on the rag a lot when I still had my period. I guess he knows by now I don't anymore...lol.</p><p></p><p>You can't make this stuff up.</p><p></p><p>Echo, hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627899, member: 1550"] Broke my heart. I wonder how he will respond...if he will respect your sad boundary. I don't think so. difficult child's don't understand boundaries. Be prepared in advance to protect your heart and expect him to either call, crying and sounding all apologetic and guilty or furious and all about how it's YOUR fault. Do not be blindsided. Plan your response to any response he may have. If he is afraid you will not be sending him any more money, he may be frantic and furious so he could use either response. If he is honestly sorry, but unwilling to change, expect "I'm no good, I'm a screw up, etc." But don't expect change because of your letter. Make #1 Priority be yourself. BE SAFE AND GOOD TO YOU! I love COM's "This conversation is over." Or whoever said that. It's very helpful. Another sad thing about difficult children is that we pour out our heart and soul and after I did that once to 36 he never did respond to me about my feelings. When I asked if he'd read the letter he said, as if he'd just remembered, "Oh, no, I threw it in the garbage after the first paragraph. Not going to sit and read your meltdown. Don't waste your time doing that again because you're just being an emotional woman." This was a long, long time ago and I don't quite recall his exact words, but it is possible he asked, "Were you on the rag when you wrote that?" He would ask if I was on the rag a lot when I still had my period. I guess he knows by now I don't anymore...lol. You can't make this stuff up. Echo, hugs for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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Long, long journey to acceptance (swiped from a line by COM on another thread)
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