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Long, long journey to acceptance (swiped from a line by COM on another thread)
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 628312" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I was quiet over the weekend because I was mostly numb. I had some ugly conflict with SO as well, so when I was released from thinking of either him or difficult child, I tried to just be calm and steady and still, like light on the lake (which is where I was). But I'm back, read all the new posts, and processed the ones you all sent me (which I read all along).</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this is very very true. And believing that, being committed to that idea, both keeps me here posting and commenting, and keeps me changing and growing. It is a gyre. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>No more could I, Child. Thank you for being with me in that, and for not judging or finding me weak. You describe it so well...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've been doing that since Friday. It helps. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Albie, you are SPOT ON. I didn't SAY don't call...he is so concrete sometimes...he just can't get it. You are right, he wasn't really pushing...he was feeling his way. Also he was scared in the little boy way that Child notes. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>and you are right about this too. He has had the same psychatrist since he was two, and that shrink used to tell me that it was very very important that difficult child stay connected to me...he was always relieved to hear that difficult child was still calling me through various stages of his decline...now I sort of wonder...its very very important OR WHAT? He might end up on the street? living under a bridge? disconnected from society? addicted to drugs? Or WHAT dude? What was that burden you were laying on me?</p><p></p><p>Haha, short vent there.</p><p></p><p>Yes, Albie, I am his tether. And I'm OK with that. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes MWM, it is the small child in him, the one that Child and Albie see, that is so hard for me to disentangle from...those chubby little sticky fingers in my hair.</p><p></p><p>He sent me a few facebook messages...one about not judging people with mental illness, a sort of "walk a mile in my shoes" quote, and the other a link to an youtube song about mentally ill folks who recovered and made good...with the message "Hey Mom. Had to share this song with you titled "Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fish" by Ramshackle Glory Please really listen to the lyrics I love and miss you everyday and will make you proud eventually."</p><p></p><p>This is a very new theme for him.</p><p></p><p>I know...very sweet, right? </p><p></p><p>But this is the crazy...I'll start to believe him, and start trying to help him, and I'll be drowning in his dysfunction before you can even say SNAP OUT OF IT ECHO!!!</p><p></p><p>Thats my update, my friends and companions on this journey. </p><p></p><p>More anon.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p><p></p><p>That is a totally new theme for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 628312, member: 17269"] I was quiet over the weekend because I was mostly numb. I had some ugly conflict with SO as well, so when I was released from thinking of either him or difficult child, I tried to just be calm and steady and still, like light on the lake (which is where I was). But I'm back, read all the new posts, and processed the ones you all sent me (which I read all along). Yes, this is very very true. And believing that, being committed to that idea, both keeps me here posting and commenting, and keeps me changing and growing. It is a gyre. No more could I, Child. Thank you for being with me in that, and for not judging or finding me weak. You describe it so well... I've been doing that since Friday. It helps. Albie, you are SPOT ON. I didn't SAY don't call...he is so concrete sometimes...he just can't get it. You are right, he wasn't really pushing...he was feeling his way. Also he was scared in the little boy way that Child notes. and you are right about this too. He has had the same psychatrist since he was two, and that shrink used to tell me that it was very very important that difficult child stay connected to me...he was always relieved to hear that difficult child was still calling me through various stages of his decline...now I sort of wonder...its very very important OR WHAT? He might end up on the street? living under a bridge? disconnected from society? addicted to drugs? Or WHAT dude? What was that burden you were laying on me? Haha, short vent there. Yes, Albie, I am his tether. And I'm OK with that. Yes MWM, it is the small child in him, the one that Child and Albie see, that is so hard for me to disentangle from...those chubby little sticky fingers in my hair. He sent me a few facebook messages...one about not judging people with mental illness, a sort of "walk a mile in my shoes" quote, and the other a link to an youtube song about mentally ill folks who recovered and made good...with the message "Hey Mom. Had to share this song with you titled "Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fish" by Ramshackle Glory Please really listen to the lyrics I love and miss you everyday and will make you proud eventually." This is a very new theme for him. I know...very sweet, right? But this is the crazy...I'll start to believe him, and start trying to help him, and I'll be drowning in his dysfunction before you can even say SNAP OUT OF IT ECHO!!! Thats my update, my friends and companions on this journey. More anon. Echo That is a totally new theme for him. [/QUOTE]
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Long, long journey to acceptance (swiped from a line by COM on another thread)
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