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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 433899" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I emphasise now, we do not diagnose on this site. </p><p></p><p>BUT - your son sounds like my son. And he does not have a mood disorder, he has autism.</p><p></p><p>What I am trying to say - there cane be a wider range of possible reasons for your son's behaviour, and simply asking for medications for a mood disorder is too simplistic. He needs an evaluation and you CAN talk him into this. Assuming you need to talk him into anything, you are the parent, HE is the child. But I find your reaction to him interesting, in light of my own experience. In fact, it is your reaction to his violence that makes me think even more, that autism in some form needs to be assessed for, before anything else. Because basically, despite the violence, the aggression, the sudden and seemingly mysterious mood swings - there is always a reason that makes sense to the child, which is why, although autism can resemble a mood disorder, it is not. But it is often misdiagnosed as one, often to the detriment and longer neglect of the child.</p><p></p><p>Now, you may be right and I may be wrong, it may be a mood disorder primarily. But you will never never know if you never never go - to a neuropsychologist.</p><p></p><p>You can 'sell' him on this by pointing out that the aim of the exercise is to confirm once and for all exactly HOW smart he is. We know he's smart, because he does well in school. Knowing how smart he is can help him get better access to special extension programs and a fast-track to a really great career. Use that on him. Because it is true, although it is only part of the truth.</p><p></p><p>As for the rest of it, tha tantrums when things don't go his way in a game - ths sort of games he is playing, are well-defined with strict rules. Rules are something I suspect he understands well, and when rules aren't followed to his liking, he loses it. But the umpire's word is what goes, not his. He would one day make a very good umpire, by the way. But tis need for rules and dependence on them above all, is also a common finding in Asperger's (which is what I think needs to be considered). Also they have a keen sense of injustice. The smarter the kid, the more inclined they are to some level of autism (even mildly), the more you get these rage reactions to perceived injustice.</p><p></p><p>Now, your son does well at school but not at home. We get that a lot. These kids try really hard to be good (and I think you perceive this in him - he's a good kid who is basically honest, decent and fair most of the time) but can't hold it together all the time. Also at the end of the day, they get tired, hungry, cranky and just less able to keep in control.</p><p></p><p>Do read up on "The Explosive Child" as a matter of urgent priority. It will give you a different perspective on your son as well as give you tools to cope. it is not a cure for him, it is a management tool for you.</p><p></p><p>But you do have to begin to take control back. However, do it the right way, use the book. Don't just step in and say, "I'm the parent, you will do as I say," because he has been in control at home for years (I suspect you found this was the best way for you - I frankly don't blame you, if my unqualified suspicions as to diagnosis are right). The book shows you how you can use the child's own determination and drive to give him the sense of control he needs, but for you to get what you want. And if you need more help, we are here.</p><p></p><p>So, instructions in brief - Read "Explosive Child". Get him to a neuropsychologist. Then, over time and using the book, get his cooperation in his own diagnosis and treatment. He has done well so far, but soon far more will be expected of him than he can give.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and the above instructions will work even if your suspicions of mood disorder are correct. As for ODD - don't go there, it is not helpful. Deal with the underlying problems and follow the book and the ODD you observe will reduce by itself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 433899, member: 1991"] I emphasise now, we do not diagnose on this site. BUT - your son sounds like my son. And he does not have a mood disorder, he has autism. What I am trying to say - there cane be a wider range of possible reasons for your son's behaviour, and simply asking for medications for a mood disorder is too simplistic. He needs an evaluation and you CAN talk him into this. Assuming you need to talk him into anything, you are the parent, HE is the child. But I find your reaction to him interesting, in light of my own experience. In fact, it is your reaction to his violence that makes me think even more, that autism in some form needs to be assessed for, before anything else. Because basically, despite the violence, the aggression, the sudden and seemingly mysterious mood swings - there is always a reason that makes sense to the child, which is why, although autism can resemble a mood disorder, it is not. But it is often misdiagnosed as one, often to the detriment and longer neglect of the child. Now, you may be right and I may be wrong, it may be a mood disorder primarily. But you will never never know if you never never go - to a neuropsychologist. You can 'sell' him on this by pointing out that the aim of the exercise is to confirm once and for all exactly HOW smart he is. We know he's smart, because he does well in school. Knowing how smart he is can help him get better access to special extension programs and a fast-track to a really great career. Use that on him. Because it is true, although it is only part of the truth. As for the rest of it, tha tantrums when things don't go his way in a game - ths sort of games he is playing, are well-defined with strict rules. Rules are something I suspect he understands well, and when rules aren't followed to his liking, he loses it. But the umpire's word is what goes, not his. He would one day make a very good umpire, by the way. But tis need for rules and dependence on them above all, is also a common finding in Asperger's (which is what I think needs to be considered). Also they have a keen sense of injustice. The smarter the kid, the more inclined they are to some level of autism (even mildly), the more you get these rage reactions to perceived injustice. Now, your son does well at school but not at home. We get that a lot. These kids try really hard to be good (and I think you perceive this in him - he's a good kid who is basically honest, decent and fair most of the time) but can't hold it together all the time. Also at the end of the day, they get tired, hungry, cranky and just less able to keep in control. Do read up on "The Explosive Child" as a matter of urgent priority. It will give you a different perspective on your son as well as give you tools to cope. it is not a cure for him, it is a management tool for you. But you do have to begin to take control back. However, do it the right way, use the book. Don't just step in and say, "I'm the parent, you will do as I say," because he has been in control at home for years (I suspect you found this was the best way for you - I frankly don't blame you, if my unqualified suspicions as to diagnosis are right). The book shows you how you can use the child's own determination and drive to give him the sense of control he needs, but for you to get what you want. And if you need more help, we are here. So, instructions in brief - Read "Explosive Child". Get him to a neuropsychologist. Then, over time and using the book, get his cooperation in his own diagnosis and treatment. He has done well so far, but soon far more will be expected of him than he can give. Oh, and the above instructions will work even if your suspicions of mood disorder are correct. As for ODD - don't go there, it is not helpful. Deal with the underlying problems and follow the book and the ODD you observe will reduce by itself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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