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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 123244" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We've actually been in your shoes. For difficult child 3's class, it was accepted that they would go away on camp for a week, at the beginning of their final year in that school (grade 6). I wouldn't let him go, because there are just too many issues with him. He would have had an aide there, but unless she was with him 24/7, the combined problems of other kids bullying him (it was only a very few, but that was enough to cause a lot of problems), of needing to be medicated, of him being a lot more 'set in his ways' at the ends of the days when medications wear off (and yet in a different place with people who DON'T live with him as a rule) - we felt it would just be too much trouble, with not enough benefit to justify the expense and the trauma.</p><p></p><p>However, when the class had a day trip - a very long day, driving to Canberra & back, three hours' drive each way plus a full day there - I let him go, because the aide was going to be there and he would be home that night. She stuck to him like glue and he had a fairly good day. He actually remembers some bits from that trip, although when we went back to Canberra as a family a year or so later, he took in far more (and says so himself).</p><p></p><p>Your daughter's social issues sound similar to difficult child 3's. Although I would say he is quite sociable and outgoing, but he just doesn't mix with kids his own age except at a superficial level. I feel bad, but difficult child 3 has never had a proper birthday party, with other kids. He used to get invited, but only out of politeness, I think.</p><p></p><p>In your situation - is there any way you can substitute for this excursion? Can you take her there yourself some time and do the work yourselves? Or is this primarily social? For example - difficult child 3's trip to Canberra for the day was to study Australian government, to visit Parliament House and learn about how parliament works. It was almost totally beyond his capability. They also visited Questacon, a sort of fun science museum. He liked it but didn't really absorb much from there.</p><p>When we went back ourselves, we did the whole educational Parliament House tour again, we got a worksheet for difficult child 3 from the tour guide and I made him do it. We also went to Questacon again and he really seemed to take it on board. In fact, in his English lesson for this week he had to write about how our perceptions change from an early experience to a later one, and he wrote about this very thing - Questacon, and how his second visit was so much more rewarding.</p><p></p><p>The school camp I'd said 'no' to, was not primarily educational, it was team-building. And I knew that side of it would be a failure for difficult child 3. As it turned out, he only stayed at that school for another couple of weeks, so it really would have been a wasted effort.</p><p></p><p>She really doesn't sound too keen, plus it's expensive. I'd talk to the school, get their views on how important it is, but seriously consider not sending her. What will she do instead? And if there is academic content involved, is there another way she can do the same work?</p><p></p><p>I would also be looking into Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - the social issues sound a concern. ADHD kids sometimes are on the outer socially, because their behaviour can be a barrier. But she sounds aloof and withdrawn. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids often get a diagnosis of ADHD initially. And as for the medications working - they really do work for difficult child 1 & difficult child 3 as well, but they're Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) primarily, with the ADHD label thrown in. </p><p></p><p>It's the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) label that has got us the aide time for both boys. If it would make this possible for your daughter too, it might be worth checking it out. How does she score on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test on <a href="http://www.childbrain.com?" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com?</a> You can't use that t diagnose of course, but you can get a 'feel' for how applicable it might be, and you can print the result and get the doctor to have a look.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can make your decision comfortably and with confidence.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 123244, member: 1991"] We've actually been in your shoes. For difficult child 3's class, it was accepted that they would go away on camp for a week, at the beginning of their final year in that school (grade 6). I wouldn't let him go, because there are just too many issues with him. He would have had an aide there, but unless she was with him 24/7, the combined problems of other kids bullying him (it was only a very few, but that was enough to cause a lot of problems), of needing to be medicated, of him being a lot more 'set in his ways' at the ends of the days when medications wear off (and yet in a different place with people who DON'T live with him as a rule) - we felt it would just be too much trouble, with not enough benefit to justify the expense and the trauma. However, when the class had a day trip - a very long day, driving to Canberra & back, three hours' drive each way plus a full day there - I let him go, because the aide was going to be there and he would be home that night. She stuck to him like glue and he had a fairly good day. He actually remembers some bits from that trip, although when we went back to Canberra as a family a year or so later, he took in far more (and says so himself). Your daughter's social issues sound similar to difficult child 3's. Although I would say he is quite sociable and outgoing, but he just doesn't mix with kids his own age except at a superficial level. I feel bad, but difficult child 3 has never had a proper birthday party, with other kids. He used to get invited, but only out of politeness, I think. In your situation - is there any way you can substitute for this excursion? Can you take her there yourself some time and do the work yourselves? Or is this primarily social? For example - difficult child 3's trip to Canberra for the day was to study Australian government, to visit Parliament House and learn about how parliament works. It was almost totally beyond his capability. They also visited Questacon, a sort of fun science museum. He liked it but didn't really absorb much from there. When we went back ourselves, we did the whole educational Parliament House tour again, we got a worksheet for difficult child 3 from the tour guide and I made him do it. We also went to Questacon again and he really seemed to take it on board. In fact, in his English lesson for this week he had to write about how our perceptions change from an early experience to a later one, and he wrote about this very thing - Questacon, and how his second visit was so much more rewarding. The school camp I'd said 'no' to, was not primarily educational, it was team-building. And I knew that side of it would be a failure for difficult child 3. As it turned out, he only stayed at that school for another couple of weeks, so it really would have been a wasted effort. She really doesn't sound too keen, plus it's expensive. I'd talk to the school, get their views on how important it is, but seriously consider not sending her. What will she do instead? And if there is academic content involved, is there another way she can do the same work? I would also be looking into Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) - the social issues sound a concern. ADHD kids sometimes are on the outer socially, because their behaviour can be a barrier. But she sounds aloof and withdrawn. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids often get a diagnosis of ADHD initially. And as for the medications working - they really do work for difficult child 1 & difficult child 3 as well, but they're Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) primarily, with the ADHD label thrown in. It's the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) label that has got us the aide time for both boys. If it would make this possible for your daughter too, it might be worth checking it out. How does she score on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) test on [url]www.childbrain.com?[/url] You can't use that t diagnose of course, but you can get a 'feel' for how applicable it might be, and you can print the result and get the doctor to have a look. I hope you can make your decision comfortably and with confidence. Marg [/QUOTE]
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