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General Parenting
Looking for some advice, please
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 361678" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>I don't have much advice. My younger child tends to be verbally abusive when he feels like he is being criticized. For him we do seem to get better results when we write down a list of what he has to do before he gets privileges. Then he checks it off. At least it seems to reduce the arguing.</p><p></p><p>When you say that the court has mandated the cellphone, have they mandated that she have it on her person all the time? I am thinking that perhaps you could require her to check it when she comes home and get it for an hour in the evening. Or perhaps you could find out if she could have it but be limited to 3 or 4 numbers to call (not her friends?). That way she could still call her dad.</p><p></p><p>Seems to me that the real crux of the problem is with your ex and how that makes everything so difficult to negotiate. What are the options if the evaluation recommends medications? </p><p></p><p>Finally I am just wondering whether there is a long standing pattern and it has just escalated or whether this is pretty new behavior --in which case it could be the combination of hormones and the whole adolescent thing topped off with a very difficult relationship with her dad.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, I know what it is like to be on the end of verbal abuse day in and day out. We wouldn't put up with it from our spouses, and it is terrible to have to put up with it from our kids.</p><p>Hugs.</p><p>I am also thinking that it might be interesting to see if you could get your husband to take little videos of her yelling at you to show in the evaluation. When we tried to do that with my son he went totally ballistic so it probably has to be done discreetly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 361678, member: 2322"] I don't have much advice. My younger child tends to be verbally abusive when he feels like he is being criticized. For him we do seem to get better results when we write down a list of what he has to do before he gets privileges. Then he checks it off. At least it seems to reduce the arguing. When you say that the court has mandated the cellphone, have they mandated that she have it on her person all the time? I am thinking that perhaps you could require her to check it when she comes home and get it for an hour in the evening. Or perhaps you could find out if she could have it but be limited to 3 or 4 numbers to call (not her friends?). That way she could still call her dad. Seems to me that the real crux of the problem is with your ex and how that makes everything so difficult to negotiate. What are the options if the evaluation recommends medications? Finally I am just wondering whether there is a long standing pattern and it has just escalated or whether this is pretty new behavior --in which case it could be the combination of hormones and the whole adolescent thing topped off with a very difficult relationship with her dad. I'm sorry, I know what it is like to be on the end of verbal abuse day in and day out. We wouldn't put up with it from our spouses, and it is terrible to have to put up with it from our kids. Hugs. I am also thinking that it might be interesting to see if you could get your husband to take little videos of her yelling at you to show in the evaluation. When we tried to do that with my son he went totally ballistic so it probably has to be done discreetly. [/QUOTE]
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