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Looking for some shared wisdom as period of no contact ends
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 621332" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Echo, as I've begun awakening...husband isn't looking so good to me, either. Hero complex, and poor husband is just a person, like me. I try to hold steady, try to remember where I want to be. I remember that I am healing, and that what worked for husband and I in the past will need to change, as I do. </p><p></p><p>So far, we have been able to come back into accord, even into healthier accord.</p><p></p><p>So far.</p><p></p><p>In my experience so far Echo, I can't unsee something I have seen. </p><p></p><p>Getting healthy is about losing things that are not what we fooled ourselves into believing they were. Getting healthy is about seeking out, and throwing out, those pallid illusions of who we are and what we are about in this life for the real thing, for real life.</p><p></p><p>You are being rebirthed, Echo.</p><p></p><p>I am, too.</p><p></p><p>Sit with the feelings, acknowledge the feelings, ride that growing edge Brene Brown writes about with as much integrity as you know or can find, and all will be well.</p><p></p><p>I always feel so betrayed, when I realize what I've settled for. </p><p></p><p>The trick is in understanding we deserve those good things we did not choose before, and that the lesser things we put up with, the lesser things we called our lives and companions and careers, were never what we wanted, were never what we were entitled to, to begin with.</p><p></p><p>It's sort of a lonely place, for awhile.</p><p></p><p>I am exploring my life and time in a new way just lately. Just saying "yes" and seeing where it will take me. If you remember, Recovering went through something similar. There is loss, and it's sad. But once you see differently, you cannot just unsee it.</p><p></p><p>And our lives change. </p><p></p><p>And though it may not feel like it as we go through it, these are good and healthy changes.</p><p></p><p>Stronger, Echo. I feel so much stronger.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 621332, member: 17461"] Echo, as I've begun awakening...husband isn't looking so good to me, either. Hero complex, and poor husband is just a person, like me. I try to hold steady, try to remember where I want to be. I remember that I am healing, and that what worked for husband and I in the past will need to change, as I do. So far, we have been able to come back into accord, even into healthier accord. So far. In my experience so far Echo, I can't unsee something I have seen. Getting healthy is about losing things that are not what we fooled ourselves into believing they were. Getting healthy is about seeking out, and throwing out, those pallid illusions of who we are and what we are about in this life for the real thing, for real life. You are being rebirthed, Echo. I am, too. Sit with the feelings, acknowledge the feelings, ride that growing edge Brene Brown writes about with as much integrity as you know or can find, and all will be well. I always feel so betrayed, when I realize what I've settled for. The trick is in understanding we deserve those good things we did not choose before, and that the lesser things we put up with, the lesser things we called our lives and companions and careers, were never what we wanted, were never what we were entitled to, to begin with. It's sort of a lonely place, for awhile. I am exploring my life and time in a new way just lately. Just saying "yes" and seeing where it will take me. If you remember, Recovering went through something similar. There is loss, and it's sad. But once you see differently, you cannot just unsee it. And our lives change. And though it may not feel like it as we go through it, these are good and healthy changes. Stronger, Echo. I feel so much stronger. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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