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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724794" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As always, I wish I had said it as eloquently as Colleen. I would guess he needs support and encouragement and understanding of he has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. In Adoption Land, I was in a very large support group with other adoptive parents for years and fetal alcohol plus reactive attachment disorder (or both) are huge and common problems for our kids whose birth parents suffered from addiction and could not quit during pregnancy. These subset of adopted kids do not get better by discipline. They are not "bad." They are disabled. I don't know how old your son was when you became a forever family, but reactive attachment disorder is almost the rule with older kid adoption. It is caused by very early loss of a major caregiver, abuse or chaos ages infant to three. Do ALL older adopted kids have this? I work with a girl adopted at four and she is normal, in four year college and sweet. She doesnt like her mother, but is very attached to her father. So no not all older adopted kids cant attach. But it is common and no fault of yours or his if he has attachment issues.</p><p></p><p>I would take him to a Neuro psychologist before you do anything with court. It is true that blacks in the U.S. are often considered guilty for being black....all the killings of black youth show this. Ii</p><p></p><p>Thanks to Colleen for being a kind voice of reason. Being a teacher, i trust her word as well as what I saw. She is wise and compassionate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724794, member: 1550"] As always, I wish I had said it as eloquently as Colleen. I would guess he needs support and encouragement and understanding of he has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. In Adoption Land, I was in a very large support group with other adoptive parents for years and fetal alcohol plus reactive attachment disorder (or both) are huge and common problems for our kids whose birth parents suffered from addiction and could not quit during pregnancy. These subset of adopted kids do not get better by discipline. They are not "bad." They are disabled. I don't know how old your son was when you became a forever family, but reactive attachment disorder is almost the rule with older kid adoption. It is caused by very early loss of a major caregiver, abuse or chaos ages infant to three. Do ALL older adopted kids have this? I work with a girl adopted at four and she is normal, in four year college and sweet. She doesnt like her mother, but is very attached to her father. So no not all older adopted kids cant attach. But it is common and no fault of yours or his if he has attachment issues. I would take him to a Neuro psychologist before you do anything with court. It is true that blacks in the U.S. are often considered guilty for being black....all the killings of black youth show this. Ii Thanks to Colleen for being a kind voice of reason. Being a teacher, i trust her word as well as what I saw. She is wise and compassionate. [/QUOTE]
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