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<blockquote data-quote="CatMat" data-source="post: 194890" data-attributes="member: 5914"><p>He was on ADHD medications in earlier years but didn't have great sucess with it after numerous different types that were tried. Dad also is now very against trying them again and with our son's substance use, I can't say I'd be comfortable trying them either not knowing the effects of them being mixed with something else.</p><p>He's had an EKG done prior to going on the medications and that came back norm. He's been to numerous councelors but doesn't seem to take them seriously and plays games with them to get thier attention, etc... in 8th grade he went to an out-patient program at Rogers Memorial and seemed to act up more there than what was actually going on and used that for more of a "status" symbol in school, so in our eyes didn't take that seriously either. Now when counceling gets brought up to him he says he won't participate because he can not trust them because the councelors will tell us what he says, etc... which one did once when he told them he likes to start fires....</p><p>He has had to do mandatory drug tests at school already last year for bringing pills to school (which after being tested turned out to be nothing) and admitting to the dean of students that he smoked pot, so they did make him do three randome tests last year which two of which he passed and one failed. The one that came back positive was for pot. They didn't find anything else.</p><p>I actaully plan on getting him in this week for another. So yes we have been down that road. I also generally am not affected by the "tears" and the "you don't trust me" line. I tell him straight up I don't trust him and he needs to earn my trust back, etc.... I just get so tired and dragged down with the roller coaster ride he takes us on... School started out soooo good this year, but now I'm seeing all the typical signs of the past behaviors, etc.... I just wish I knew how to stop the "self destruct" he puts himself into, the defiant behavior with some teachers, etc....</p><p>My latest tactic since grounding him doesn't usually work because if he really wants to leave, he does, is not to reward "bad" behavior. So if he does poorly in school, breaks curfew, etc.... we don't pay for extras... haircuts, shoe shopping, removed his tv in his room, etc....</p><p>Trying to also make him understand that he makes these bad choices and he needs to accept responsibility for them. </p><p> </p><p>We also have cut back on giving him money because of him spending it on cigarettes, etc.... (he still manages to get them somehow). We still pay him for doing extras aside from regular chores but am thinking we will need to stop that as well.</p><p> </p><p>As far as family goes, we have three other siblings in the home.... One 18 year old sis (actually a neice of mine which we adopted and has been with us for 9 years) who is very motivated to achieve in school and is now in her freshman year of college, One 19 year old who is a step son to me and has his own set of issues from living with his mom, so we are trying to get him on his feet and to be independant. And a 11 year old sis who is awesome and usually the light of my life. Very outgoing, athletic and does well in school.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CatMat, post: 194890, member: 5914"] He was on ADHD medications in earlier years but didn't have great sucess with it after numerous different types that were tried. Dad also is now very against trying them again and with our son's substance use, I can't say I'd be comfortable trying them either not knowing the effects of them being mixed with something else. He's had an EKG done prior to going on the medications and that came back norm. He's been to numerous councelors but doesn't seem to take them seriously and plays games with them to get thier attention, etc... in 8th grade he went to an out-patient program at Rogers Memorial and seemed to act up more there than what was actually going on and used that for more of a "status" symbol in school, so in our eyes didn't take that seriously either. Now when counceling gets brought up to him he says he won't participate because he can not trust them because the councelors will tell us what he says, etc... which one did once when he told them he likes to start fires.... He has had to do mandatory drug tests at school already last year for bringing pills to school (which after being tested turned out to be nothing) and admitting to the dean of students that he smoked pot, so they did make him do three randome tests last year which two of which he passed and one failed. The one that came back positive was for pot. They didn't find anything else. I actaully plan on getting him in this week for another. So yes we have been down that road. I also generally am not affected by the "tears" and the "you don't trust me" line. I tell him straight up I don't trust him and he needs to earn my trust back, etc.... I just get so tired and dragged down with the roller coaster ride he takes us on... School started out soooo good this year, but now I'm seeing all the typical signs of the past behaviors, etc.... I just wish I knew how to stop the "self destruct" he puts himself into, the defiant behavior with some teachers, etc.... My latest tactic since grounding him doesn't usually work because if he really wants to leave, he does, is not to reward "bad" behavior. So if he does poorly in school, breaks curfew, etc.... we don't pay for extras... haircuts, shoe shopping, removed his tv in his room, etc.... Trying to also make him understand that he makes these bad choices and he needs to accept responsibility for them. We also have cut back on giving him money because of him spending it on cigarettes, etc.... (he still manages to get them somehow). We still pay him for doing extras aside from regular chores but am thinking we will need to stop that as well. As far as family goes, we have three other siblings in the home.... One 18 year old sis (actually a neice of mine which we adopted and has been with us for 9 years) who is very motivated to achieve in school and is now in her freshman year of college, One 19 year old who is a step son to me and has his own set of issues from living with his mom, so we are trying to get him on his feet and to be independant. And a 11 year old sis who is awesome and usually the light of my life. Very outgoing, athletic and does well in school. [/QUOTE]
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