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Looks Like difficult child 2 Is Staying Where He's At
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<blockquote data-quote="PiperThree" data-source="post: 10247" data-attributes="member: 3042"><p>Janna, I can tell that you are so torn between doing what you know is probably the best thing for you and your family and difficult child 2 right now and the fact that you love him to pieces and just want everyone to be able to live together and get along. If it makes any difference whatsoever, I think your attorney is spot on when he says that difficult child 2 is playing with everyone and trying to manipulate the system to his own advantage. Like you said, he's 15 years old - its time to start acting like it. Demanding that YOU do something to get him out of his current foster home shouldn't be up to you - he had a good thing going on at the K's but played his over-used abuse card and got away from the consequences from stealing cigarettes instead of facing the music like a man and learning from that experience. Of course you want things to be different but with all that you have on your plate right now, something needs to bend a bit. All his game playing sounds to me like he's just trying to stir the pot and you've all been through enough crap. Where was he for those 5 weeks when you had no contact? That doesn't sound like someone who wanted to come home so bad. If he did, would he have disappeared like that? I don't mean to sound so dang negative but you know that we have such similar situations and I know how much you've done and how hard you've tried with him. I tell my husband all the time that its so much easier to detach when you never were able to attach in the first place. Now you, like my husband being the bio-parents of course are attached to your difficult child's as you should be, but these cubs flew the nest (before people like me and your SO probably had time sufficient to really attach also) and its time they lived life on their own to see just how hard it really is. They think they know everything, well, go ahead and prove it. Eventually, they will come to admit and realize they do need help and when that happens, you, SO and everyone else in their lives will be there to help them. </p><p></p><p>If difficult child 2 has the opportunity for long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) care, I suggest placing him. The sacrifice we do for our difficult child's now could potentially be so worth it down the road. </p><p></p><p>((((BIG HUGS)))) my friend :warrior: hang in there - we're here for you...</p><p></p><p>Piper</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PiperThree, post: 10247, member: 3042"] Janna, I can tell that you are so torn between doing what you know is probably the best thing for you and your family and difficult child 2 right now and the fact that you love him to pieces and just want everyone to be able to live together and get along. If it makes any difference whatsoever, I think your attorney is spot on when he says that difficult child 2 is playing with everyone and trying to manipulate the system to his own advantage. Like you said, he's 15 years old - its time to start acting like it. Demanding that YOU do something to get him out of his current foster home shouldn't be up to you - he had a good thing going on at the K's but played his over-used abuse card and got away from the consequences from stealing cigarettes instead of facing the music like a man and learning from that experience. Of course you want things to be different but with all that you have on your plate right now, something needs to bend a bit. All his game playing sounds to me like he's just trying to stir the pot and you've all been through enough crap. Where was he for those 5 weeks when you had no contact? That doesn't sound like someone who wanted to come home so bad. If he did, would he have disappeared like that? I don't mean to sound so dang negative but you know that we have such similar situations and I know how much you've done and how hard you've tried with him. I tell my husband all the time that its so much easier to detach when you never were able to attach in the first place. Now you, like my husband being the bio-parents of course are attached to your difficult child's as you should be, but these cubs flew the nest (before people like me and your SO probably had time sufficient to really attach also) and its time they lived life on their own to see just how hard it really is. They think they know everything, well, go ahead and prove it. Eventually, they will come to admit and realize they do need help and when that happens, you, SO and everyone else in their lives will be there to help them. If difficult child 2 has the opportunity for long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC) care, I suggest placing him. The sacrifice we do for our difficult child's now could potentially be so worth it down the road. ((((BIG HUGS)))) my friend [img]:warrior:[/img] hang in there - we're here for you... Piper [/QUOTE]
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