Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Losing my temper
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 431770" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>I feel your agony. I remember once when difficult child was 2 I called her the witch with a b. I had so lost my cool, and it sooooooooooooooooooooo looked as if she was "doing it on purpose"</p><p></p><p>Several things helped me, and I know #1 isn't an option for most ppl, but I'm putting it down anyway.</p><p></p><p>1 My husband left. After the initial shock/mourning period I noticed how much less stress I had. I didn't have to deal with his issues and stroke his ego. Until then I did not know how utterly draining on me it had been.</p><p>2 I started seeing myself in my children's explosions. That was a HUGE wake up call. They were imitating me and I did NOT like what I was seeing.</p><p>3 Before husband left, our arguments were getting more frequent and louder - kids were hearing more of them and they were getting scared. I learned to temper my anger because I didnt' want them thinking that "they'd be going next" after an argument with mommy.</p><p>4 I found the calmer I stayed the faster I recovered from the stress of the situation.</p><p>5 I learned to better identify when I was getting short tempered and USE MY WORDS to ask my children for space and quiet. This is the same exact skill I had been (and still am) teaching them.</p><p></p><p>Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting has a learning curve. Parenting a difficult child has an even bigger learning curve Just as you are teaching your child coping skills, you need to learn the same or similar skills. It takes time but you will get there.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Don't let it stay in your gut - let it go. When she messes up, and apologizes, and you forgive her, do you let her obsess about it, or do your encourage her to move on? We all must move on. Try to remember and learn from the experience, but move on knowing that everything is OK.</p><p></p><p>One thing I started telling my kids after I noticed difficult child did not want to let go of her guilt or when she was so afraid I didn't love her any more was "I love you always and forever no matter what." We discuss that while mom might not be happy or proud at any given moment, or even be downright angry, that mom's love is ALWAYS there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 431770, member: 11965"] I feel your agony. I remember once when difficult child was 2 I called her the witch with a b. I had so lost my cool, and it sooooooooooooooooooooo looked as if she was "doing it on purpose" Several things helped me, and I know #1 isn't an option for most ppl, but I'm putting it down anyway. 1 My husband left. After the initial shock/mourning period I noticed how much less stress I had. I didn't have to deal with his issues and stroke his ego. Until then I did not know how utterly draining on me it had been. 2 I started seeing myself in my children's explosions. That was a HUGE wake up call. They were imitating me and I did NOT like what I was seeing. 3 Before husband left, our arguments were getting more frequent and louder - kids were hearing more of them and they were getting scared. I learned to temper my anger because I didnt' want them thinking that "they'd be going next" after an argument with mommy. 4 I found the calmer I stayed the faster I recovered from the stress of the situation. 5 I learned to better identify when I was getting short tempered and USE MY WORDS to ask my children for space and quiet. This is the same exact skill I had been (and still am) teaching them. Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting has a learning curve. Parenting a difficult child has an even bigger learning curve Just as you are teaching your child coping skills, you need to learn the same or similar skills. It takes time but you will get there. Don't let it stay in your gut - let it go. When she messes up, and apologizes, and you forgive her, do you let her obsess about it, or do your encourage her to move on? We all must move on. Try to remember and learn from the experience, but move on knowing that everything is OK. One thing I started telling my kids after I noticed difficult child did not want to let go of her guilt or when she was so afraid I didn't love her any more was "I love you always and forever no matter what." We discuss that while mom might not be happy or proud at any given moment, or even be downright angry, that mom's love is ALWAYS there. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Losing my temper
Top