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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 697398" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Stormy. My heart goes out to you. Try hard to concentrate on yourself, your husband, your other children.</p><p></p><p>Take small steps to secure a peaceful home, whatever that is to you. You all deserve that. We changed the locks (twice) at current home and put in security system at previous home. You shouldn't have to live in fear of any adult, especially your son.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is good, if he got it. Truth is, you could have pressed charges and you didn't. Your son is a man now, even if he doesn't act it. He will need to come to the point of wanting to clean up on his own. It's really out of your hands. I know it's not out of your heart-that's a whole different thing. I know you are worried about something horrible happening, but they always seem to contact us sooner or later. This is a good time to solidify with your husband what future involvement might look like, specifically your assistance to him. If you can set rules for yourself now, it will be easier to keep them at a later date. (note, these are rules for you, not what he needs to do). Read the "article on detachment" at the top of parent emeritus site. </p><p>We also let our son come home to live a couple of times, never again, sadly to say. Sadly for me, because I still so want to "fix it". There is freedom in acknowledging that I finally can't. </p><p> So, we go on with our lives, ever hopeful that he finds his way. We don't love him any less (probably more in fact), but we love us too. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 697398, member: 20054"] Hi Stormy. My heart goes out to you. Try hard to concentrate on yourself, your husband, your other children. Take small steps to secure a peaceful home, whatever that is to you. You all deserve that. We changed the locks (twice) at current home and put in security system at previous home. You shouldn't have to live in fear of any adult, especially your son. This is good, if he got it. Truth is, you could have pressed charges and you didn't. Your son is a man now, even if he doesn't act it. He will need to come to the point of wanting to clean up on his own. It's really out of your hands. I know it's not out of your heart-that's a whole different thing. I know you are worried about something horrible happening, but they always seem to contact us sooner or later. This is a good time to solidify with your husband what future involvement might look like, specifically your assistance to him. If you can set rules for yourself now, it will be easier to keep them at a later date. (note, these are rules for you, not what he needs to do). Read the "article on detachment" at the top of parent emeritus site. We also let our son come home to live a couple of times, never again, sadly to say. Sadly for me, because I still so want to "fix it". There is freedom in acknowledging that I finally can't. So, we go on with our lives, ever hopeful that he finds his way. We don't love him any less (probably more in fact), but we love us too. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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