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Lying and such
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 548716" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>V is 5. Unfortunately, he is at the age where he is learning the difference between truth and lies and telling lies is part of that process. I would NOT worry overmuch about accusing him wrongly, esp when he gives himself away so easily. Being wrongfully accused and having no one believe you is part of the natural consequences of lying, so it is actually a GOOD thing for you to do with him.</p><p></p><p>He has to learn the difference between what is the truth and what is a lie, and learn that lying causes more problems than the truth does. do think that gettting to the bottom of the reason for the lie is important, but you cannot always take time to do it.</p><p></p><p>With the safety issues, I would make a BIG consequence, like removing a favorite toy for a time period or no tv or dessert or something. Given V's delays, it may take a while to work through this. I recommend Love and Logic's Magic for Early Childhood to help you navigate how to handle situations like these. It is a great book, in my opinion. In our home the safety things were the big no-no's and the ones where the consequences were pretty severe. </p><p></p><p>If he is craving taking things apart, then I would go to a thrift store and get some broken things or cheap things he can take apart (if you don't have any) and supervise him taking them apart. If he won't stick to approved things to take apart, then he has to fix what he breaks.</p><p></p><p>A (now) funny story about things taken apart: My dad always took things apart. At age 3 he got up from a nap and took the door off of the refrigerator. My gma was NOT happy, and stood the door in front of the fridge so the food wouldn't spoil. That was in the "wait until your father gets home" days. She was not terribly amused when my gpa didn't scold my dad much, just made him put it back on (with gpa to do the heavy lifting, of course).</p><p></p><p>Some kids are just driven to take things apart. It can be a useful thing, but it has to be channeled. I would pitch a fit about the safety gate though. And maybe make V spend birthday money to help buy a gate that isn't as easily taken apart or some sort of cover to install over the tension screws if something can be devised.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 548716, member: 1233"] V is 5. Unfortunately, he is at the age where he is learning the difference between truth and lies and telling lies is part of that process. I would NOT worry overmuch about accusing him wrongly, esp when he gives himself away so easily. Being wrongfully accused and having no one believe you is part of the natural consequences of lying, so it is actually a GOOD thing for you to do with him. He has to learn the difference between what is the truth and what is a lie, and learn that lying causes more problems than the truth does. do think that gettting to the bottom of the reason for the lie is important, but you cannot always take time to do it. With the safety issues, I would make a BIG consequence, like removing a favorite toy for a time period or no tv or dessert or something. Given V's delays, it may take a while to work through this. I recommend Love and Logic's Magic for Early Childhood to help you navigate how to handle situations like these. It is a great book, in my opinion. In our home the safety things were the big no-no's and the ones where the consequences were pretty severe. If he is craving taking things apart, then I would go to a thrift store and get some broken things or cheap things he can take apart (if you don't have any) and supervise him taking them apart. If he won't stick to approved things to take apart, then he has to fix what he breaks. A (now) funny story about things taken apart: My dad always took things apart. At age 3 he got up from a nap and took the door off of the refrigerator. My gma was NOT happy, and stood the door in front of the fridge so the food wouldn't spoil. That was in the "wait until your father gets home" days. She was not terribly amused when my gpa didn't scold my dad much, just made him put it back on (with gpa to do the heavy lifting, of course). Some kids are just driven to take things apart. It can be a useful thing, but it has to be channeled. I would pitch a fit about the safety gate though. And maybe make V spend birthday money to help buy a gate that isn't as easily taken apart or some sort of cover to install over the tension screws if something can be devised. [/QUOTE]
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