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Made it through the holidays anyway!
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 675789" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It hurts us to worry about our children, and to know they are not happy. And most of all, it hurts us to know how they think. It helped me to learn words to say that were truthful and positive, but that did not feed into the child's (the adult child's) victim mindset. I do not want to save my children. I want them to save themselves and am determined to become the kind of mother who requires that of her children.</p><p></p><p>It is almost impossibly hard for me to do this. I slip all the time, because I do love them and sometimes, they say and do the rottenest things and blame other people when they are the ones living the lives they've chosen.</p><p></p><p>At the bottom of my posts there is a link to a really great site on how to speak, on what words to use, when we are speaking to our adult kids about a variety of subjects.</p><p></p><p>Let me see if I can put it in the body of this post for you.</p><p></p><p>Nope. It doesn't show up until I have posted. So, beneath my signature will be a link to a posting by a Dr. McCoy. That is the one, So Sad.</p><p></p><p>It helped me very much to have those words.</p><p></p><p>It is very, very hard to know how to parent our troubled adult kids. </p><p></p><p>I remember you, and I am glad to know you posted to us again.</p><p></p><p>You are correct in refusing to allow your child to move home. In my opinion, you are.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 675789, member: 17461"] It hurts us to worry about our children, and to know they are not happy. And most of all, it hurts us to know how they think. It helped me to learn words to say that were truthful and positive, but that did not feed into the child's (the adult child's) victim mindset. I do not want to save my children. I want them to save themselves and am determined to become the kind of mother who requires that of her children. It is almost impossibly hard for me to do this. I slip all the time, because I do love them and sometimes, they say and do the rottenest things and blame other people when they are the ones living the lives they've chosen. At the bottom of my posts there is a link to a really great site on how to speak, on what words to use, when we are speaking to our adult kids about a variety of subjects. Let me see if I can put it in the body of this post for you. Nope. It doesn't show up until I have posted. So, beneath my signature will be a link to a posting by a Dr. McCoy. That is the one, So Sad. It helped me very much to have those words. It is very, very hard to know how to parent our troubled adult kids. I remember you, and I am glad to know you posted to us again. You are correct in refusing to allow your child to move home. In my opinion, you are. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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