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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 353873" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I agree that you need to push for as many hours with an extra person in the house as possible. You need to push for someone to do in-home therapy, pca (if that is personal care assistant) to help with hygeine, getting chores done (like room cleaning, picking up after himself, etc...), then an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) (independent living skills?) person to help with doing age appropriate things and using age appropriate behaviors. </p><p></p><p>Is it possible to get someone to be with him on weekends while he plays a sport or goes to a club or does something with other kids? Sort of a job coach but for social skills? This person would be a mentor also, ideally. Someone difficult child could think is cool and fun that could get ideas like manners through to difficult child. In the first half of 5th grade Wiz' class had 3 kids, 1 teacher and 2 full time aides. One of the aides was a very tall young man, just a year out of college. He worked with the 3 boys and also did things like play playstation, toss a ball around, and generally give "guy" opinions. It was just AMAZING! When he saw Jess flinch from Wiz once, the aid (W) started working with all 3 boys on not hitting girls esp, being gentle and loving to sisters and cousins, etc... It was pretty effective. Those kids would do almost anything they could so as not to have any of the teachers in that room disappointed in them. Even eat vegetables!</p><p></p><p>Someone like W but in your home to really see what difficult child needs and provide it would be great. Not sure how you ask for that.</p><p></p><p>I would also ask for assistance putting technology into place to monitor difficult child - window alarms, door alarms, locks to keep him out of things, software for the computer to monitor his usage and control it as much as is needed, adaptive programs to help him with executive function problems and other things that can be helped on the computer. There may be grants or programs to help provide technology to families of mentally ill or learning disabled kids. Cannot hurt to ask.</p><p></p><p>Push for appts with a therapist at least 2x/week and psychiatrist however often you think it is needed.</p><p></p><p>Also pay attention to his sensory needs and include anything that might help those. Look through "The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" to get ideas that might help him and the tools/equipment/supplies you need to help him. I did find that when Wiz' sensory needs were met he was less aggressive. It also works for Jess and thank you, ESP thank you.</p><p></p><p>Think about the rest of the family too. Will having an extra person around give you more time to spend with easy child 1:1? How about someone to help her learn that egging him on or deliberately making him angry is not OK, not any more than it would be if difficult child did that to her? Some therapy to help her deal with the realities of living with a difficult child in the family and her emotions about it. You have probably done this already, but stepping that up probably is a good idea while difficult child is in and out of the psychiatric hospital right now.</p><p></p><p>What are the big things that difficult child blows up about, esp regarding easy child? Is it wanting to watch a show at the same time she is watching something? Wanting to use a ball, game, toy, etc... at the same time she is? If you don't have a second tv so that they can watch in different areas, how about putting that in your wish list? </p><p></p><p>My mom has always told me "physical solutions for physical problems" and it helps. When there was a nightly war about who used the Barney plate for dinner we stopped playing referee and stopped fussing at the kids. We got a second plate. We also worked on taking turns, but dinner time was not the time. Not at dinnertime when we were all tired and hungry. Is there any source of friction or frequent difficult child problem that can be helped with a physical solution? Put these items in your wish list. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 353873, member: 1233"] I agree that you need to push for as many hours with an extra person in the house as possible. You need to push for someone to do in-home therapy, pca (if that is personal care assistant) to help with hygeine, getting chores done (like room cleaning, picking up after himself, etc...), then an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) (independent living skills?) person to help with doing age appropriate things and using age appropriate behaviors. Is it possible to get someone to be with him on weekends while he plays a sport or goes to a club or does something with other kids? Sort of a job coach but for social skills? This person would be a mentor also, ideally. Someone difficult child could think is cool and fun that could get ideas like manners through to difficult child. In the first half of 5th grade Wiz' class had 3 kids, 1 teacher and 2 full time aides. One of the aides was a very tall young man, just a year out of college. He worked with the 3 boys and also did things like play playstation, toss a ball around, and generally give "guy" opinions. It was just AMAZING! When he saw Jess flinch from Wiz once, the aid (W) started working with all 3 boys on not hitting girls esp, being gentle and loving to sisters and cousins, etc... It was pretty effective. Those kids would do almost anything they could so as not to have any of the teachers in that room disappointed in them. Even eat vegetables! Someone like W but in your home to really see what difficult child needs and provide it would be great. Not sure how you ask for that. I would also ask for assistance putting technology into place to monitor difficult child - window alarms, door alarms, locks to keep him out of things, software for the computer to monitor his usage and control it as much as is needed, adaptive programs to help him with executive function problems and other things that can be helped on the computer. There may be grants or programs to help provide technology to families of mentally ill or learning disabled kids. Cannot hurt to ask. Push for appts with a therapist at least 2x/week and psychiatrist however often you think it is needed. Also pay attention to his sensory needs and include anything that might help those. Look through "The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" to get ideas that might help him and the tools/equipment/supplies you need to help him. I did find that when Wiz' sensory needs were met he was less aggressive. It also works for Jess and thank you, ESP thank you. Think about the rest of the family too. Will having an extra person around give you more time to spend with easy child 1:1? How about someone to help her learn that egging him on or deliberately making him angry is not OK, not any more than it would be if difficult child did that to her? Some therapy to help her deal with the realities of living with a difficult child in the family and her emotions about it. You have probably done this already, but stepping that up probably is a good idea while difficult child is in and out of the psychiatric hospital right now. What are the big things that difficult child blows up about, esp regarding easy child? Is it wanting to watch a show at the same time she is watching something? Wanting to use a ball, game, toy, etc... at the same time she is? If you don't have a second tv so that they can watch in different areas, how about putting that in your wish list? My mom has always told me "physical solutions for physical problems" and it helps. When there was a nightly war about who used the Barney plate for dinner we stopped playing referee and stopped fussing at the kids. We got a second plate. We also worked on taking turns, but dinner time was not the time. Not at dinnertime when we were all tired and hungry. Is there any source of friction or frequent difficult child problem that can be helped with a physical solution? Put these items in your wish list. I hope this helps. [/QUOTE]
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