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major life challenges for difficult child - how do i help her?
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 41986" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>my kids are not autistic. what did struck me about your story is about your soon to be ex. you would think a man who defied death would be so appreciative and happy to be alive that he would be a turned around man with a heart now of gold.</p><p></p><p>my ex was verbally abusive, terrified me and my sons with his disappearances, weird behavior and passive aggression, depression. I was losing my mind with him as well. he was diagnosis with colon cancer after we had been married 30 yrs. he was not expected to live and if he did he was to have a full time colostomy bag. thru the grace of God and friends, I never let down my search for help for him, both psychiatrically as well as medically. With much effort I located a colon specialist new to Alleg general hospital in pgh. this doctor had just arrived from cleveland clinic. he was able to completely eradicate the cancer as well as reattach my husb's bowels so he was hooked up normal and could live well. when he woke from surgery his brother begged me to let him be the one to tell my husb we thought he was completely cured and that he did not have to live with a colostomy.</p><p></p><p>ya know what he said? "that sucks!" he did not want to go back to work. when they released him to return to work in a few months, he refused and told me he would starve himself to get a disability. he hid his medications, he sabotaged things, he called me names, ran away a few times. when he was down to 120 pds (at 5 feet 9) they put him in a psychiatric ward. while there, my brother the lawyer forced me to go see a lawyer friend of mine and get a divorce. I did. best thing I ever did I swear.</p><p></p><p>my ex is still miserable, a hermit who looks and acts weird. he hates everyone. he is still trying the starving route. no one is listening. he is on a pscyh disability as he wished. I am free.</p><p></p><p>your child needs to be in a peaceful home. having her dad there could mean even more trauma. I would say to make sure her days are carefree as possible and keep her out of the drama of daddy's world. </p><p></p><p>I feel for you. I spent 11 months with my ex thru hospitals, docs and surgeries. it is tough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 41986, member: 97"] my kids are not autistic. what did struck me about your story is about your soon to be ex. you would think a man who defied death would be so appreciative and happy to be alive that he would be a turned around man with a heart now of gold. my ex was verbally abusive, terrified me and my sons with his disappearances, weird behavior and passive aggression, depression. I was losing my mind with him as well. he was diagnosis with colon cancer after we had been married 30 yrs. he was not expected to live and if he did he was to have a full time colostomy bag. thru the grace of God and friends, I never let down my search for help for him, both psychiatrically as well as medically. With much effort I located a colon specialist new to Alleg general hospital in pgh. this doctor had just arrived from cleveland clinic. he was able to completely eradicate the cancer as well as reattach my husb's bowels so he was hooked up normal and could live well. when he woke from surgery his brother begged me to let him be the one to tell my husb we thought he was completely cured and that he did not have to live with a colostomy. ya know what he said? "that sucks!" he did not want to go back to work. when they released him to return to work in a few months, he refused and told me he would starve himself to get a disability. he hid his medications, he sabotaged things, he called me names, ran away a few times. when he was down to 120 pds (at 5 feet 9) they put him in a psychiatric ward. while there, my brother the lawyer forced me to go see a lawyer friend of mine and get a divorce. I did. best thing I ever did I swear. my ex is still miserable, a hermit who looks and acts weird. he hates everyone. he is still trying the starving route. no one is listening. he is on a pscyh disability as he wished. I am free. your child needs to be in a peaceful home. having her dad there could mean even more trauma. I would say to make sure her days are carefree as possible and keep her out of the drama of daddy's world. I feel for you. I spent 11 months with my ex thru hospitals, docs and surgeries. it is tough. [/QUOTE]
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