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Male who beat difficult child released to treatment facility...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622251" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I have been repeating this to myself, Child. It brings a flash of resentment every time, but I have been repeating and repeating it.</p><p></p><p>There is alot of heat, there.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>***************</p><p></p><p>We had the male in our home, Child. I taught him to make pastry and lemon meringue pie. (Cedar goes cross-eyed with anger.) </p><p></p><p>He was a nice man. (Hopeless. Cedar is hopeless, helpless. Nothing changed. When I set the rolling pin out to teach him how to roll out the pastry, he froze. Literally, froze. He asked: "What is that?" I said it was a rolling pin, and that we were going to use it to roll the pie crust.</p><p></p><p>He said he was beat with one of those, as a child.</p><p></p><p>By his mother.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. True. This has to do with leading from fear; with getting it that the fearsome thing already </p><p>happened.</p><p></p><p>We must choose courage, we must risk, or our lives become smaller and smaller traps.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. I have to fight to think like this. I have to fight that urge to protect. When the dangers seem so extreme, I have to fight it so hard.</p><p></p><p>I would like to display instead, the true belief that difficult child is strong, healthy, able enough to deal with these things well. </p><p></p><p>I need to stop seeing her as weak, hapless, innocent. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes, the banner the guilt flys under is that I taught her the world is mostly good. I get so confused around this issue. Wish she had taken years of karate instead of ballet. </p><p></p><p>I get it that I could not know she would need those kinds of skills. </p><p></p><p>Still, it would have been something.</p><p></p><p>Huh.</p><p></p><p>Okay, I see myself blaming myself? So maybe I could stop that now.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I put this one in again because I like it so much.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>We have no choice.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much, Child of Mine.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622251, member: 17461"] I have been repeating this to myself, Child. It brings a flash of resentment every time, but I have been repeating and repeating it. There is alot of heat, there. *************** We had the male in our home, Child. I taught him to make pastry and lemon meringue pie. (Cedar goes cross-eyed with anger.) He was a nice man. (Hopeless. Cedar is hopeless, helpless. Nothing changed. When I set the rolling pin out to teach him how to roll out the pastry, he froze. Literally, froze. He asked: "What is that?" I said it was a rolling pin, and that we were going to use it to roll the pie crust. He said he was beat with one of those, as a child. By his mother. Yes. True. This has to do with leading from fear; with getting it that the fearsome thing already happened. We must choose courage, we must risk, or our lives become smaller and smaller traps. Yes. I have to fight to think like this. I have to fight that urge to protect. When the dangers seem so extreme, I have to fight it so hard. I would like to display instead, the true belief that difficult child is strong, healthy, able enough to deal with these things well. I need to stop seeing her as weak, hapless, innocent. Sometimes, the banner the guilt flys under is that I taught her the world is mostly good. I get so confused around this issue. Wish she had taken years of karate instead of ballet. I get it that I could not know she would need those kinds of skills. Still, it would have been something. Huh. Okay, I see myself blaming myself? So maybe I could stop that now. I put this one in again because I like it so much. Yes. We have no choice. Thank you so much, Child of Mine. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Male who beat difficult child released to treatment facility...
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