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General Parenting
Manipulation question
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 262643" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Ok- I've been watching too much tv about kids and families needing help lately. LOL! It made me think of a scenario with my son when he was about 10-12yo and I never figured out a good way to handle it so I thought I'd asked what others have done in this situation.</p><p></p><p>If I told difficult child that he needed to do something one evening in order to be able to get a certain priviledge the next day, then he didn't take initiative, so I'd remind him and he wouldn't act compliant. Then, I'd say, ok you do not get this priviledge tomorrow. After I would say that, he would say "Oh- ok I'll go do it right now". If I said "no-it's too late", then he'd say "well- forget it then- there is no reason for me to go do this". Ok- sounds simple enough- but what if it was important that he get that done and I was using the next day's priviledge as a "bribe"? If I went ahead and let him go through with it, it seemed to just encourage more procrastination and issue about getting things done in the future. What would be a better way to meet the objective? Was the priviledge just not enough?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 262643, member: 3699"] Ok- I've been watching too much tv about kids and families needing help lately. LOL! It made me think of a scenario with my son when he was about 10-12yo and I never figured out a good way to handle it so I thought I'd asked what others have done in this situation. If I told difficult child that he needed to do something one evening in order to be able to get a certain priviledge the next day, then he didn't take initiative, so I'd remind him and he wouldn't act compliant. Then, I'd say, ok you do not get this priviledge tomorrow. After I would say that, he would say "Oh- ok I'll go do it right now". If I said "no-it's too late", then he'd say "well- forget it then- there is no reason for me to go do this". Ok- sounds simple enough- but what if it was important that he get that done and I was using the next day's priviledge as a "bribe"? If I went ahead and let him go through with it, it seemed to just encourage more procrastination and issue about getting things done in the future. What would be a better way to meet the objective? Was the priviledge just not enough? [/QUOTE]
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