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Manipulation question
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 262758" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks! He's still at the processing place so I'm not so sure that their method of behavior mod is typical of the other places. Since parents can't visit the first 30 days, which coincidently gives them the 28 days to classify the kid and determine where they go, my gut feeling is that they use this method to see how cooperative the kid is and how easy it might be to rehabilitate them. Yes, it is GREAT that he has done well there so far. He said he might not call next week- I'm not sure if that's because he doesn't want to look like a Momma's boy or if he's got his eye on something else to choose from. (More food maybe? LOL!) It's ok- I told him if he'd just call every other week I would survive!</p><p></p><p>I've heard about 2 Department of Juvenile Justice places here that are horrible- maybe people are just telling me this to make me feel better, but they say those 2 places are where the sexual offenses can happen and violence, etc., but difficult child won't be going there because he's not 16 yet. Somehow I doubt those places offer the same encouragement. (Another reason I want to make sure he doesn't get over 18 mos in- so he won't get moved to one of those places.) But, he will still be with kids who have committed sexual offenses- it could be rape even and maybe even kids who have killed. The most common listed in their statistics is armed robbery.</p><p></p><p>Really, I do hope this works. I would never be able to give him this level of secure, enforced behavior mod at home. Plus, difficult child has such issues with feeling rejection and peer pressure that some part of him feels a reassurance in places like detention and pjhosp that he doesn't get in the real world. He does well in places like that. My big worry though is that he identifies too much with kids like that and doesn't feel comfortable outside or ssettings where kids haven't had these issues. I think that has a lot to do with him not doing well at home and a BIG reason I think he might have to be in a group home to make it without going right back in the system. After he'd been in that psychiatric hospital only 2 weeks in Feb, the psychiatrist said he thought difficult child would really do best in a boarding school if I could afford it, once he got out of legal trouble. Well, unfortunately, there is no way I can afford it and he'd probably never be allowed to go now. But I did agree right away. If he'd been put in a military boarding school before he ever got into legal trouble (not that I had money to do it), I think his life could have turned out a lot different.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, if he does well for a few months, I'm going to see if they will let me talk to his mental health care providers and discuss titrating down on medications. Nothing would make me (or difficult child) happier- but I'm not bringing this up to him.</p><p></p><p>by the way- me- calmer?? It must be all those old Neil Diamond songs I've been listening to!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 262758, member: 3699"] Thanks! He's still at the processing place so I'm not so sure that their method of behavior mod is typical of the other places. Since parents can't visit the first 30 days, which coincidently gives them the 28 days to classify the kid and determine where they go, my gut feeling is that they use this method to see how cooperative the kid is and how easy it might be to rehabilitate them. Yes, it is GREAT that he has done well there so far. He said he might not call next week- I'm not sure if that's because he doesn't want to look like a Momma's boy or if he's got his eye on something else to choose from. (More food maybe? LOL!) It's ok- I told him if he'd just call every other week I would survive! I've heard about 2 Department of Juvenile Justice places here that are horrible- maybe people are just telling me this to make me feel better, but they say those 2 places are where the sexual offenses can happen and violence, etc., but difficult child won't be going there because he's not 16 yet. Somehow I doubt those places offer the same encouragement. (Another reason I want to make sure he doesn't get over 18 mos in- so he won't get moved to one of those places.) But, he will still be with kids who have committed sexual offenses- it could be rape even and maybe even kids who have killed. The most common listed in their statistics is armed robbery. Really, I do hope this works. I would never be able to give him this level of secure, enforced behavior mod at home. Plus, difficult child has such issues with feeling rejection and peer pressure that some part of him feels a reassurance in places like detention and pjhosp that he doesn't get in the real world. He does well in places like that. My big worry though is that he identifies too much with kids like that and doesn't feel comfortable outside or ssettings where kids haven't had these issues. I think that has a lot to do with him not doing well at home and a BIG reason I think he might have to be in a group home to make it without going right back in the system. After he'd been in that psychiatric hospital only 2 weeks in Feb, the psychiatrist said he thought difficult child would really do best in a boarding school if I could afford it, once he got out of legal trouble. Well, unfortunately, there is no way I can afford it and he'd probably never be allowed to go now. But I did agree right away. If he'd been put in a military boarding school before he ever got into legal trouble (not that I had money to do it), I think his life could have turned out a lot different. Anyway, if he does well for a few months, I'm going to see if they will let me talk to his mental health care providers and discuss titrating down on medications. Nothing would make me (or difficult child) happier- but I'm not bringing this up to him. by the way- me- calmer?? It must be all those old Neil Diamond songs I've been listening to! [/QUOTE]
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