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Manipulation?
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 363486" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>"Hatrid" - yup - live it ALLLLL the time. I have to admit, I've pretty much lost my patience with it. I have to regroup as well. I've gotten entirely reactive as of late. difficult child 1 and 3 are really high maintenence.</p><p> </p><p>I've found that acknowledging their feelings, validating them IF THEY'RE RIGHT, and then directing them back to the initial activity that caused them to be in trouble works best for me.</p><p> </p><p>For example: "STOP YELLING AT YOUR SISTER!!!!" (which unfortunately, I'm yelling!)</p><p>"You always take her side. You hate me because you let her get away with everything (NOT!!!)"</p><p>"No I don't - you can't be yelling to make your point"</p><p>"You don't even like me I bet, you take the whole world's point before you take mine"</p><p>"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you still can't yell at your sister"</p><p>"I should run away - you don't care about me, you always take her side"</p><p>"Well, running away won't solve your problems, and by the way, you still can't yell at your sister"</p><p> </p><p>I have this hope (and it fades A LOT of the time! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />) that if I keep repeating the "message" that I'm trying to get across, the "victim" will eventually see that he can't "redirect ME".</p><p> </p><p>Gotta love them...it's in the rules somewhere!</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 363486, member: 3814"] "Hatrid" - yup - live it ALLLLL the time. I have to admit, I've pretty much lost my patience with it. I have to regroup as well. I've gotten entirely reactive as of late. difficult child 1 and 3 are really high maintenence. I've found that acknowledging their feelings, validating them IF THEY'RE RIGHT, and then directing them back to the initial activity that caused them to be in trouble works best for me. For example: "STOP YELLING AT YOUR SISTER!!!!" (which unfortunately, I'm yelling!) "You always take her side. You hate me because you let her get away with everything (NOT!!!)" "No I don't - you can't be yelling to make your point" "You don't even like me I bet, you take the whole world's point before you take mine" "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you still can't yell at your sister" "I should run away - you don't care about me, you always take her side" "Well, running away won't solve your problems, and by the way, you still can't yell at your sister" I have this hope (and it fades A LOT of the time! :happy:) that if I keep repeating the "message" that I'm trying to get across, the "victim" will eventually see that he can't "redirect ME". Gotta love them...it's in the rules somewhere! Beth [/QUOTE]
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