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Substance Abuse
Man's Search For meaning by Viktor Frankl
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<blockquote data-quote="defiantchild" data-source="post: 701455" data-attributes="member: 18543"><p>HI AppleCori, living at home with us just wasn't working. Difficult Child wouldn't follow our house rules, did whatever he wanted, thought he knew everything. He was on probation, having been arrested for possession of a felony amount of marijuana (he was dealing and making a lot of money). He also knew that we could not actually throw him out of our house until he turned 18, so he was exploiting that fact. I told him a month before his 18th birthday, "I give up, you win. I can't fight with you anymore. When you turn 18 next month you need to move out on your own. This isn't working for us." I didn't say this as a threat. I meant it. I also didn't say it with anger. I was just telling him the way it had to be for us. I told him my life and happiness matters too. </p><p>We went with him to look for apartments. We wouldn't co-sign, so it took him a while to find one. He finally did and we helped him move out. After 2 months of living on his own he realized that life was so much harder having to support himself. Coming home late at night from work with no food in fridge, no washer and dryer in his home to make doing laundry so much easier, car insurance to pay, gas to buy, bills to pay. On top of this all, he has a girlfriend with a troubled home life who moved in with him. It became his mission in life to take care of and protect her (this became HIS MEANING). As hard as he tried, things kept going wrong, as they do in life...and he realized just how difficult it really is to make ends meet in this world, especially having to make ends meet without breaking the law. He suddenly realized what a privileged life he had. He and his girlfriend begged us to move back home temporarily. We told them the only way it could work is if they agreed to follow our basic house rules or they would be out on their own again. And we told them it would only be a temporary arrangement until they had time to regroup. Well, I am happy to report that we are LOVING having them live at home with us. They follow the rules, they are respectful, they are working....My Difficult Child is 18, his girlfriend is 17. Difficult Child will go to culinary school in the fall of 2017 and his girlfriend will go to college at the same time. I pray that things go well for them. One day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="defiantchild, post: 701455, member: 18543"] HI AppleCori, living at home with us just wasn't working. Difficult Child wouldn't follow our house rules, did whatever he wanted, thought he knew everything. He was on probation, having been arrested for possession of a felony amount of marijuana (he was dealing and making a lot of money). He also knew that we could not actually throw him out of our house until he turned 18, so he was exploiting that fact. I told him a month before his 18th birthday, "I give up, you win. I can't fight with you anymore. When you turn 18 next month you need to move out on your own. This isn't working for us." I didn't say this as a threat. I meant it. I also didn't say it with anger. I was just telling him the way it had to be for us. I told him my life and happiness matters too. We went with him to look for apartments. We wouldn't co-sign, so it took him a while to find one. He finally did and we helped him move out. After 2 months of living on his own he realized that life was so much harder having to support himself. Coming home late at night from work with no food in fridge, no washer and dryer in his home to make doing laundry so much easier, car insurance to pay, gas to buy, bills to pay. On top of this all, he has a girlfriend with a troubled home life who moved in with him. It became his mission in life to take care of and protect her (this became HIS MEANING). As hard as he tried, things kept going wrong, as they do in life...and he realized just how difficult it really is to make ends meet in this world, especially having to make ends meet without breaking the law. He suddenly realized what a privileged life he had. He and his girlfriend begged us to move back home temporarily. We told them the only way it could work is if they agreed to follow our basic house rules or they would be out on their own again. And we told them it would only be a temporary arrangement until they had time to regroup. Well, I am happy to report that we are LOVING having them live at home with us. They follow the rules, they are respectful, they are working....My Difficult Child is 18, his girlfriend is 17. Difficult Child will go to culinary school in the fall of 2017 and his girlfriend will go to college at the same time. I pray that things go well for them. One day at a time. [/QUOTE]
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