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Substance Abuse
Marijuana, the New Beer?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scott_G" data-source="post: 612972" data-attributes="member: 16626"><p>I would agree that marijuana is no more harmful than beer. Millions of people enjoy it responsibly with no issues. However, to say that drugs or alcohol are harm-LESS, is just foolish. Experimenting with drugs and alcohol is like playing a game of Russian roulette. I have done my share of drinking and still continue to enjoy drinking in moderation. I also minored in better living through chemistry in college and well into my late 20's. I turned out okay, but along the way I knew many people who didn't. I had a friend in high school who at the age of 18 was already exhibiting the symptoms of being an alcoholic. I had a roommate in college who was an alcoholic. I eventually had to move out because he was like living with Jekyl and Hyde. Sober he was the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, but when he started drinking, you better watch out. Once he started drinking he didn't stop until he passed out or there was no more booze. His behavior under the influence was terrible. He lost his license due to a serious car accident when he was drunk. He said he had absolutely no recollection of the incident. Apparently he got into a fight with the cops too. He said the last thing he remembered was leaving the bar, then waking up in a jail cell looking like he had taken a good beating. He was a big guy and when he got drunk, he would try to pick fights with random people. I also knew a guy in college who got seriously addicted to cocaine and ended up dropping out of school. Don't know what ever happened to him because we lost contatct soon after that. So while many people can use drugs and alcohol recreationally with no consequences, there is a dark side for sure. In my case, for the most part I was a clean cut kid in high school, but when I got to college, drugs where everywhere. During freshman orientation I had only been on campus for a few hours and I was already getting high with some guys I just met. Maybe the fact that I didn't really start smoking until I was already an adult helped me turn out okay and not lead me down the road to harder drugs like my son who at 14 claimed it was just pot, and at 31 is now a heroin addict. I do think that children should not be using drugs and alcohol. it can severely hurt their development at a critical time in their lives.</p><p></p><p>As to your son, well I will simply jump on the bandwagon and put in another vote for "My house, my rules" It's funny, but a lot of 18, 19, and 20 somethings go around crying about how they are adults when they have zero clue what it means to be an adult. The reality of life is that there is really no such thing as freedom. In fact when you get older you realize that even though your parents told you where you could and couldn't go as a kid, what time to go to bed, what time to be home, what you can eat, what you can and can't have, etc, that childhood is the most free time of your life. With freedom-adult freedom, comes responsibility. In no time in your life (unless you are independently wealthy or homeless) are you simply free to do whatever you please whenever you please. I can do whatever I want in my house, but I have to go to work every day at a job I hate because I need money. I can't spend all my money on drugs and alcohol because I have to pay a mortgage along with many other bills. Even in my free time, I can't simply party all the time because I have other responsibilites. When I got out on my own I learned that all this freedom from my parents that I wanted had a hefty price tag. So your son thinks he's an adult? Well young adults who don't live with mommy and daddy typically have to rent an apartment. To do this they have to pay a security deposit and sign a lease. The lease clearly spells out the rules that the landlord expects the tenant to follow, and if the tenant breaks the rules, the landlord will evict them. If your son wants to be treated like an adult, make him sign a "lease" Write down the rules you expect him to live by and also be very clear about the consequences of not following the rules. If he doesn't like the rules, he is 18 and certainly has the option of getting his own place. If he is getting financial support from you, you should also be clear about the stipulations of continuing that support. Doing this is important too because depending on where you live, if push comes to shove, you legally might not be able to put him out on the street. In some states, even if the person is not paying rent, and even if the person is related to you, if you allow them to live on your propery they have established residency and they now enjoy all the legal rights afforded to tenants, meaning if you decide you want him to leave, you may legally be forced to give him 30 days notice, and if he still refuses to leave, you may need to go to court and go through the eviction process. Spelling out the rules and the consequences should make this all easier.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scott_G, post: 612972, member: 16626"] I would agree that marijuana is no more harmful than beer. Millions of people enjoy it responsibly with no issues. However, to say that drugs or alcohol are harm-LESS, is just foolish. Experimenting with drugs and alcohol is like playing a game of Russian roulette. I have done my share of drinking and still continue to enjoy drinking in moderation. I also minored in better living through chemistry in college and well into my late 20's. I turned out okay, but along the way I knew many people who didn't. I had a friend in high school who at the age of 18 was already exhibiting the symptoms of being an alcoholic. I had a roommate in college who was an alcoholic. I eventually had to move out because he was like living with Jekyl and Hyde. Sober he was the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, but when he started drinking, you better watch out. Once he started drinking he didn't stop until he passed out or there was no more booze. His behavior under the influence was terrible. He lost his license due to a serious car accident when he was drunk. He said he had absolutely no recollection of the incident. Apparently he got into a fight with the cops too. He said the last thing he remembered was leaving the bar, then waking up in a jail cell looking like he had taken a good beating. He was a big guy and when he got drunk, he would try to pick fights with random people. I also knew a guy in college who got seriously addicted to cocaine and ended up dropping out of school. Don't know what ever happened to him because we lost contatct soon after that. So while many people can use drugs and alcohol recreationally with no consequences, there is a dark side for sure. In my case, for the most part I was a clean cut kid in high school, but when I got to college, drugs where everywhere. During freshman orientation I had only been on campus for a few hours and I was already getting high with some guys I just met. Maybe the fact that I didn't really start smoking until I was already an adult helped me turn out okay and not lead me down the road to harder drugs like my son who at 14 claimed it was just pot, and at 31 is now a heroin addict. I do think that children should not be using drugs and alcohol. it can severely hurt their development at a critical time in their lives. As to your son, well I will simply jump on the bandwagon and put in another vote for "My house, my rules" It's funny, but a lot of 18, 19, and 20 somethings go around crying about how they are adults when they have zero clue what it means to be an adult. The reality of life is that there is really no such thing as freedom. In fact when you get older you realize that even though your parents told you where you could and couldn't go as a kid, what time to go to bed, what time to be home, what you can eat, what you can and can't have, etc, that childhood is the most free time of your life. With freedom-adult freedom, comes responsibility. In no time in your life (unless you are independently wealthy or homeless) are you simply free to do whatever you please whenever you please. I can do whatever I want in my house, but I have to go to work every day at a job I hate because I need money. I can't spend all my money on drugs and alcohol because I have to pay a mortgage along with many other bills. Even in my free time, I can't simply party all the time because I have other responsibilites. When I got out on my own I learned that all this freedom from my parents that I wanted had a hefty price tag. So your son thinks he's an adult? Well young adults who don't live with mommy and daddy typically have to rent an apartment. To do this they have to pay a security deposit and sign a lease. The lease clearly spells out the rules that the landlord expects the tenant to follow, and if the tenant breaks the rules, the landlord will evict them. If your son wants to be treated like an adult, make him sign a "lease" Write down the rules you expect him to live by and also be very clear about the consequences of not following the rules. If he doesn't like the rules, he is 18 and certainly has the option of getting his own place. If he is getting financial support from you, you should also be clear about the stipulations of continuing that support. Doing this is important too because depending on where you live, if push comes to shove, you legally might not be able to put him out on the street. In some states, even if the person is not paying rent, and even if the person is related to you, if you allow them to live on your propery they have established residency and they now enjoy all the legal rights afforded to tenants, meaning if you decide you want him to leave, you may legally be forced to give him 30 days notice, and if he still refuses to leave, you may need to go to court and go through the eviction process. Spelling out the rules and the consequences should make this all easier. [/QUOTE]
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