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Marriage Trouble
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<blockquote data-quote="ML" data-source="post: 69544"><p>What happened is that we got married before really knowing each other. We knew each other for a year but we did long distance dating which isn't a true test of compatibility. I think he's bipolar but I never saw the down side of it before we got married. When we were fist together he was so happy and full of words of love and appreciation. After we were married a few months he was sullen, introverted, detached, hostile and unhappy. I changed as a result I suppose. I gained about 20 pounds so that is one way I changed. Basically, I stopped being happy. At first I blamed myself for his unhappiness but have come to realize I'm not responsible for it. Nor he mine. He will not change. His basic personality is depressive and negative and mine's pretty upbeat and positive most of the time. Not saying my way is better. We're just wired differently.</p><p></p><p>The one way he improves my life is by his consistency. His presence is a comfort to my son who has known a lot of instability. My son has a love hate relationship with both of us.</p><p></p><p>Financially: I make twice what he does. I do 95 percent of the work around the house but some days the thought of doing an extra 5 percent is huge. And occasionally he'll watch difficult child so I can get out of the house. I don't have anyone else who can do that. So there are advantages.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for making me think busywend.</p><p></p><p>MicheleL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ML, post: 69544"] What happened is that we got married before really knowing each other. We knew each other for a year but we did long distance dating which isn't a true test of compatibility. I think he's bipolar but I never saw the down side of it before we got married. When we were fist together he was so happy and full of words of love and appreciation. After we were married a few months he was sullen, introverted, detached, hostile and unhappy. I changed as a result I suppose. I gained about 20 pounds so that is one way I changed. Basically, I stopped being happy. At first I blamed myself for his unhappiness but have come to realize I'm not responsible for it. Nor he mine. He will not change. His basic personality is depressive and negative and mine's pretty upbeat and positive most of the time. Not saying my way is better. We're just wired differently. The one way he improves my life is by his consistency. His presence is a comfort to my son who has known a lot of instability. My son has a love hate relationship with both of us. Financially: I make twice what he does. I do 95 percent of the work around the house but some days the thought of doing an extra 5 percent is huge. And occasionally he'll watch difficult child so I can get out of the house. I don't have anyone else who can do that. So there are advantages. Thanks for making me think busywend. MicheleL [/QUOTE]
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