Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Matt gave up (update)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 309211"><p>Very generally, I would trust every member of the team and make a decision to 'pick your battles.' Only speak your mind if and/or when you see and hear something that you honest to goodness know in your heart is totally wrong for your son. Otherwise, I would give them an opportunity to try something different/unfamiliar to you. </p><p></p><p>I would not leave too many messages....pick and chose when you will do this. Then, be sure to leave your phone number 2x and ask that you receive a phone call by a certain time. Ususally 1-2 days is PLENTY of time for a return call. So, for example, if you were to call on Monday morning, you might say..."Hi, this is Sue Smith, Tommy's mother. My number is xxxx-xxx-xxxxx. I have an important question about his medication and would like a call back as soon as possible. Again, my number is xxx-xxxx-xxxx, it's Monday morning and I'm hoping you'll be able to call back within twenty four hours." (or something like this).</p><p>If you don't get a call back by the end of the day Tuesday, I would call back late Tues. afternoon or Wed. morning and if you don't get a call back by Wed. late afternoon, I would call that person's supervisor.</p><p></p><p>Another trick is to leave an email as well as a phone message.</p><p></p><p>But remember, if you are trying to disengage, don't leave too many messages. Save this when something is of utmost concern.</p><p></p><p>You could also let them know that for your own good mental health, you are disengaging from the minute details of your son's treatment. You might tell them that you wish to be informed on a regular basis (perhaps weekly) of his progress and of course of any significant turns/changes that might occur during the week.</p><p></p><p>If you think of something that might benefit your son, mention it to the person in charge to see if it is something they might try. However, don't insist and don't be emotional. </p><p></p><p>If down the pike, your son has serious and consistent problems, you might address moving him to another facility, etc. However, do not be too quick to make this type of decision. </p><p></p><p>Consider protecting your own good mental health, but keep a watchful eye out for your son as well. It is a delicate balance.</p><p></p><p>One more thing...try to identify at least one person you sense is honest and capable...as your "go to" person should you have a special concern...but don't abuse the relationship. Be extra kind to this person.</p><p></p><p>If anyone gives you a hard time about pulling back, remember this...so what? What they think of you is their problem. What they think of you is none of your business. Run YOUR race: you want your son to get good care and you want to keep your sanity...how about that?</p><p></p><p>Are you receiving any of your own therapy? It is something to consider...it is somewhat typical and often beneficial for parents to do this while their children are at a Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>If I were you...I would have something in the wings for Thanksgiving planned for yourself...just in case.</p><p></p><p>Remember..many many many parents have not been able to see their children for holidays while they were in RTCs.</p><p></p><p>Your son might very well have to learn to feel the sting of inappropriate behavior...if this is the case...let him feel the sting.</p><p></p><p>You, take care of yourself. Perhaps go traveling with other family members...get creative...get strong.</p><p>Your son will realize that you would prefer to have him home, but deep down, you are one strong, smart woman. And guess what, he is just like you...smart and capable. It will get him thinking.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line...be aware...but not hyper vigilant, give this team a chance, pick your battles, stream line involvement...figure out the right balance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 309211"] Very generally, I would trust every member of the team and make a decision to 'pick your battles.' Only speak your mind if and/or when you see and hear something that you honest to goodness know in your heart is totally wrong for your son. Otherwise, I would give them an opportunity to try something different/unfamiliar to you. I would not leave too many messages....pick and chose when you will do this. Then, be sure to leave your phone number 2x and ask that you receive a phone call by a certain time. Ususally 1-2 days is PLENTY of time for a return call. So, for example, if you were to call on Monday morning, you might say..."Hi, this is Sue Smith, Tommy's mother. My number is xxxx-xxx-xxxxx. I have an important question about his medication and would like a call back as soon as possible. Again, my number is xxx-xxxx-xxxx, it's Monday morning and I'm hoping you'll be able to call back within twenty four hours." (or something like this). If you don't get a call back by the end of the day Tuesday, I would call back late Tues. afternoon or Wed. morning and if you don't get a call back by Wed. late afternoon, I would call that person's supervisor. Another trick is to leave an email as well as a phone message. But remember, if you are trying to disengage, don't leave too many messages. Save this when something is of utmost concern. You could also let them know that for your own good mental health, you are disengaging from the minute details of your son's treatment. You might tell them that you wish to be informed on a regular basis (perhaps weekly) of his progress and of course of any significant turns/changes that might occur during the week. If you think of something that might benefit your son, mention it to the person in charge to see if it is something they might try. However, don't insist and don't be emotional. If down the pike, your son has serious and consistent problems, you might address moving him to another facility, etc. However, do not be too quick to make this type of decision. Consider protecting your own good mental health, but keep a watchful eye out for your son as well. It is a delicate balance. One more thing...try to identify at least one person you sense is honest and capable...as your "go to" person should you have a special concern...but don't abuse the relationship. Be extra kind to this person. If anyone gives you a hard time about pulling back, remember this...so what? What they think of you is their problem. What they think of you is none of your business. Run YOUR race: you want your son to get good care and you want to keep your sanity...how about that? Are you receiving any of your own therapy? It is something to consider...it is somewhat typical and often beneficial for parents to do this while their children are at a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If I were you...I would have something in the wings for Thanksgiving planned for yourself...just in case. Remember..many many many parents have not been able to see their children for holidays while they were in RTCs. Your son might very well have to learn to feel the sting of inappropriate behavior...if this is the case...let him feel the sting. You, take care of yourself. Perhaps go traveling with other family members...get creative...get strong. Your son will realize that you would prefer to have him home, but deep down, you are one strong, smart woman. And guess what, he is just like you...smart and capable. It will get him thinking. Bottom line...be aware...but not hyper vigilant, give this team a chance, pick your battles, stream line involvement...figure out the right balance. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Matt gave up (update)
Top