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Parent Emeritus
Matt gave up (update)
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 309215" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Steely, I am just so sorry and sending you many gentle hugs.</p><p> </p><p>As my difficult child got older (16 and on), we could never win with- treatment teams. We either did too much or not enough. I finally told them they were going to have to figure it out with thank you, without husband or me. Was incredibly difficult to follow thru on that, but... I got really tired of the focus being on what husband or I should be doing, rather than what thank you was supposed to be doing. If it were up to husband or me, thank you would be the picture of good mental health. It doesn't work that way. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know what the answer is, Steely - my kid is one mood swing (his or his cohabitants') away from being on the street, and the consequences of that? Well, I think you and I think along similar lines on that one. I try really hard not to think about it because realistically there is not one doggone thing I can do about it, at least not while he continues to be so doggedly noncompliant and uncooperative. Is he mentally ill? You bet. But because all mental health treatment is voluntary (which is about as oxymoronic as they come), we're just stuck waiting for the trainwreck. </p><p> </p><p>You trusting the team has absolutely zip with- their ability to help Matt. Zero, nada. I'm sure you're not on the phone with him undermining them. The team, in my humble opinion, needs to focus on Matt, period. He's not returning home to live. It's their job (repeat, *their* job) to work with him on what comes next. And if he's unable to deal with the anxiety that moving up to the next level brings (so familiar!), they need to either help him learn to deal with it or move around it. If he refuses to return to the program, *they* need to work with him on what he does want, and try to get the supports in place.</p><p> </p><p>I'm really just so sorry, Steely. I hope you are taking care of yourself extra well right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 309215, member: 8"] Steely, I am just so sorry and sending you many gentle hugs. As my difficult child got older (16 and on), we could never win with- treatment teams. We either did too much or not enough. I finally told them they were going to have to figure it out with thank you, without husband or me. Was incredibly difficult to follow thru on that, but... I got really tired of the focus being on what husband or I should be doing, rather than what thank you was supposed to be doing. If it were up to husband or me, thank you would be the picture of good mental health. It doesn't work that way. I don't know what the answer is, Steely - my kid is one mood swing (his or his cohabitants') away from being on the street, and the consequences of that? Well, I think you and I think along similar lines on that one. I try really hard not to think about it because realistically there is not one doggone thing I can do about it, at least not while he continues to be so doggedly noncompliant and uncooperative. Is he mentally ill? You bet. But because all mental health treatment is voluntary (which is about as oxymoronic as they come), we're just stuck waiting for the trainwreck. You trusting the team has absolutely zip with- their ability to help Matt. Zero, nada. I'm sure you're not on the phone with him undermining them. The team, in my humble opinion, needs to focus on Matt, period. He's not returning home to live. It's their job (repeat, *their* job) to work with him on what comes next. And if he's unable to deal with the anxiety that moving up to the next level brings (so familiar!), they need to either help him learn to deal with it or move around it. If he refuses to return to the program, *they* need to work with him on what he does want, and try to get the supports in place. I'm really just so sorry, Steely. I hope you are taking care of yourself extra well right now. [/QUOTE]
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Matt gave up (update)
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