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Matt gave up (update)
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<blockquote data-quote="horserider" data-source="post: 310923" data-attributes="member: 8054"><p>Steely,</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child will be 18 in a yr and 2 months so I read with interest and also learn from all of you what our future may hold. (new to the boards a few wks ago). My heart goes out to you upon reading your post, I feel so much of the same pain in my heart. I also am trying to "detach" and not be so involved as I found my mind and body giving out. I moved out of our home because of our difficult child and the constant verbal and physical abuse and destruction of property (could not send him packing), still 16, always more towards me then my husband. My difficult child is currently in a treatment program through the jjc, arrested for domestic violence (3rd offense) & destruction of property. He has to "earn" his way out of this program and I don't know if he can ever "earn" my trust again. Like yourself I am frustrated about his "teams" efforts, calls are not returned, etc. This is not his first time in a long term program, except this time it is tied to his charges and court. Do we give up to save ourselves? No we can't but I've come to realize that I to have to detach in some ways, like yourself, and let him find (and earn) his way. Currently non-medication compliant so he has not "earned" a week yet. </p><p> </p><p>We have family therapy sessions but how do I tell my difficult child and his therapist I don't think I can move back home. difficult child thinks mom will be there when I get out. My therapist tells me I suffer from post-tramatic stress, wonder why... One day at a time I guess.</p><p> </p><p>Christmas (and my difficult child's birthday shortly after) will be very hard for me also this year. Just seeing the kids in our small town going to homecoming, the football games, etc has been hard. But we go on I guess. Finding this site has been a god send for me. I look at other parents who visit their difficult child's the same day we do and want to reach out to them, but can't. I am lucky to have found a new, wonderfully supportive group that can truly make me feel like I'm not alone. </p><p> </p><p>As I have to be mindful of this all the time, remember to take care of yourself.</p><p>My thoughts and prayers are with you and Matt</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="horserider, post: 310923, member: 8054"] Steely, My difficult child will be 18 in a yr and 2 months so I read with interest and also learn from all of you what our future may hold. (new to the boards a few wks ago). My heart goes out to you upon reading your post, I feel so much of the same pain in my heart. I also am trying to "detach" and not be so involved as I found my mind and body giving out. I moved out of our home because of our difficult child and the constant verbal and physical abuse and destruction of property (could not send him packing), still 16, always more towards me then my husband. My difficult child is currently in a treatment program through the jjc, arrested for domestic violence (3rd offense) & destruction of property. He has to "earn" his way out of this program and I don't know if he can ever "earn" my trust again. Like yourself I am frustrated about his "teams" efforts, calls are not returned, etc. This is not his first time in a long term program, except this time it is tied to his charges and court. Do we give up to save ourselves? No we can't but I've come to realize that I to have to detach in some ways, like yourself, and let him find (and earn) his way. Currently non-medication compliant so he has not "earned" a week yet. We have family therapy sessions but how do I tell my difficult child and his therapist I don't think I can move back home. difficult child thinks mom will be there when I get out. My therapist tells me I suffer from post-tramatic stress, wonder why... One day at a time I guess. Christmas (and my difficult child's birthday shortly after) will be very hard for me also this year. Just seeing the kids in our small town going to homecoming, the football games, etc has been hard. But we go on I guess. Finding this site has been a god send for me. I look at other parents who visit their difficult child's the same day we do and want to reach out to them, but can't. I am lucky to have found a new, wonderfully supportive group that can truly make me feel like I'm not alone. As I have to be mindful of this all the time, remember to take care of yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Matt [/QUOTE]
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