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May I ask for your opinions?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 491625" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have gotten a lot of great input. I know J has problems iwth transitions, but if he sees you treat the move like and adventure then he is more likely to take it in stride. Moving will NOT necessarily "break" him or cause more problems in the long run. We moved to a new state when Wiz was 3, within that state when he was 7 and back to the place we lived in first when he was 11. NONE of these things "broke" him or caused more problems for him in the long run. There were substantial advantages to each move and while there were disadvantages too, we focused on the advantages and our kids adjusted faster because of it.</p><p></p><p>Kids are amazingly resilient, even difficult children.</p><p></p><p>If I had to make the choice it would be 2. The education is a lot closer to what J needs than either place offers and that is HUGE with me. in my opinion that type of education will do wonders for J and the rigid, narrow, conventional education would possible do substantial harm because it doesn't seem like J will be able to succeed in that type of educational setting. It just seems contrary to what he needs. The animal care at the school in choice 2 would go a LONG way to helping him with other concerns. Not only would he be taught not to hurt animals, but caring for an animal does wonders to help people learn and grow in so many ways. in my opinion the education at #2 is far better than the other options because the hands on doesn't just fit J's nature, it is simply a better way to learn and produces a mind that isn't just more educated in book ways, but is more flexible and more able to apply their education to their entire lives.</p><p></p><p>I also think J will be far more accepted in the school in #2. Being in a school where he is not accepted fully and where he is not CAPABLE of conforming to the requirements will only lead to problems. My oldest was in a school where he was not accepted or challenged and it did AWFUL things to and for him. So I am biased that way.</p><p></p><p>Having a parent who is happy makes a HUGE difference to a child. You like some things about your current town, but you are not really happy there. It will show in how J feels about the town in years to come. He will also pick up on the ways that neither of you are truly accepted there and it won't result in good things. The religious difference between you and your small town are huge and that will come to be a bigger problem as your son gets older. What the town may tolerate while he is a small town iwll become a big deal that they won't be nearly so tolerant of as he gets older and isn't a part of their religion. It will close at least some doors for him if you stay in the current town.</p><p></p><p>Moving is hard on a kid. No doubt about that. But the positives of the new places outweigh the difficulties in moving, in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if Morocco is the best place to move. As a single mom it would be a hard place to live. Or so I would think based on my limited info about Morocco. Though he has family there, if his father does not want him there, it could end up with J feeling a huge amt of rejection from his father. That will hurt him HUGELY, far more than he would be hurt by not seeing his father's side of the family because you don't live close by. We lived less than a mile from my father's side of the family (a large family) for quite a few years and we simply were not invited or welcome at many things. This was NOT my father's doing and I haven't told him much of it. My folks are still married and they didn't live in the area. Ther were FIVE family reunions that we were purposely not invited to because the aunt who offered to tell us about them didn't want us there. My kids feel a BIG degree of rejection from that side of the family and it has hurt them badly. If J's father doesn't want him close, and it isn't the best place for you or for J's education, then Morocco doesn't feel like a good option.</p><p></p><p>This is my perspective. You have to make the choice, but know it is better to make a move now than when J is older - it does get harder for kids as they get older.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 491625, member: 1233"] You have gotten a lot of great input. I know J has problems iwth transitions, but if he sees you treat the move like and adventure then he is more likely to take it in stride. Moving will NOT necessarily "break" him or cause more problems in the long run. We moved to a new state when Wiz was 3, within that state when he was 7 and back to the place we lived in first when he was 11. NONE of these things "broke" him or caused more problems for him in the long run. There were substantial advantages to each move and while there were disadvantages too, we focused on the advantages and our kids adjusted faster because of it. Kids are amazingly resilient, even difficult children. If I had to make the choice it would be 2. The education is a lot closer to what J needs than either place offers and that is HUGE with me. in my opinion that type of education will do wonders for J and the rigid, narrow, conventional education would possible do substantial harm because it doesn't seem like J will be able to succeed in that type of educational setting. It just seems contrary to what he needs. The animal care at the school in choice 2 would go a LONG way to helping him with other concerns. Not only would he be taught not to hurt animals, but caring for an animal does wonders to help people learn and grow in so many ways. in my opinion the education at #2 is far better than the other options because the hands on doesn't just fit J's nature, it is simply a better way to learn and produces a mind that isn't just more educated in book ways, but is more flexible and more able to apply their education to their entire lives. I also think J will be far more accepted in the school in #2. Being in a school where he is not accepted fully and where he is not CAPABLE of conforming to the requirements will only lead to problems. My oldest was in a school where he was not accepted or challenged and it did AWFUL things to and for him. So I am biased that way. Having a parent who is happy makes a HUGE difference to a child. You like some things about your current town, but you are not really happy there. It will show in how J feels about the town in years to come. He will also pick up on the ways that neither of you are truly accepted there and it won't result in good things. The religious difference between you and your small town are huge and that will come to be a bigger problem as your son gets older. What the town may tolerate while he is a small town iwll become a big deal that they won't be nearly so tolerant of as he gets older and isn't a part of their religion. It will close at least some doors for him if you stay in the current town. Moving is hard on a kid. No doubt about that. But the positives of the new places outweigh the difficulties in moving, in my opinion. I don't know if Morocco is the best place to move. As a single mom it would be a hard place to live. Or so I would think based on my limited info about Morocco. Though he has family there, if his father does not want him there, it could end up with J feeling a huge amt of rejection from his father. That will hurt him HUGELY, far more than he would be hurt by not seeing his father's side of the family because you don't live close by. We lived less than a mile from my father's side of the family (a large family) for quite a few years and we simply were not invited or welcome at many things. This was NOT my father's doing and I haven't told him much of it. My folks are still married and they didn't live in the area. Ther were FIVE family reunions that we were purposely not invited to because the aunt who offered to tell us about them didn't want us there. My kids feel a BIG degree of rejection from that side of the family and it has hurt them badly. If J's father doesn't want him close, and it isn't the best place for you or for J's education, then Morocco doesn't feel like a good option. This is my perspective. You have to make the choice, but know it is better to make a move now than when J is older - it does get harder for kids as they get older. [/QUOTE]
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