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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 727964" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p><em>Recoveringenabler, Just finished reading the most excellent posts that you sent me to. I read both of them put them into my mental tool box and will use those great tools.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Just like childhood friends, I have friends that I loved dearly in Jr high and some have taken a direction that is not good for me. We had to part company. I have to look at my daughter in the same light. My daughter was such a sweet, kind child. We were so very close. She is evolving into someone that I do not like. She is envolving into someone that hurts my spirit deep down to the core and I do not want to feel that abuse on a regular basis.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I remember breaking ties with my bipolar brother in law. It took years because I thought his appolgies were sincere but only until his next round of manic abuse. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>When my daughter was 28 I cut all ties for 3 months. It made her change in good ways. The lies did not stop but the belligerence did for a while. I gave her way too many chances. It gets so tiresome to keep trying and balancing and choosing your battles. I don't want to choose between battles, I do not want to have to put a protective shield around me each time I am around her, it is wearing me out.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I know the abuse will stop when I stop it. At this point I cannot help her anymore and her path is her path and if she chooses an ugly path, well then she has to live it. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I pray for strength to not fall back into a trap. She can call me with a nice tone and sound sincere and then I fall back into wanting to do things with her and wanting that mother daughter relationship that I dream about. She is a grown woman that lies and steals and is lazy and does not wish me good will. I do not want such a person around me.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Thank you Recoveringenabler, your guidance has meant the world to me. Huge hug.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 727964, member: 22416"] [I]Recoveringenabler, Just finished reading the most excellent posts that you sent me to. I read both of them put them into my mental tool box and will use those great tools. Just like childhood friends, I have friends that I loved dearly in Jr high and some have taken a direction that is not good for me. We had to part company. I have to look at my daughter in the same light. My daughter was such a sweet, kind child. We were so very close. She is evolving into someone that I do not like. She is envolving into someone that hurts my spirit deep down to the core and I do not want to feel that abuse on a regular basis. I remember breaking ties with my bipolar brother in law. It took years because I thought his appolgies were sincere but only until his next round of manic abuse. When my daughter was 28 I cut all ties for 3 months. It made her change in good ways. The lies did not stop but the belligerence did for a while. I gave her way too many chances. It gets so tiresome to keep trying and balancing and choosing your battles. I don't want to choose between battles, I do not want to have to put a protective shield around me each time I am around her, it is wearing me out. I know the abuse will stop when I stop it. At this point I cannot help her anymore and her path is her path and if she chooses an ugly path, well then she has to live it. I pray for strength to not fall back into a trap. She can call me with a nice tone and sound sincere and then I fall back into wanting to do things with her and wanting that mother daughter relationship that I dream about. She is a grown woman that lies and steals and is lazy and does not wish me good will. I do not want such a person around me. Thank you Recoveringenabler, your guidance has meant the world to me. Huge hug.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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