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General Parenting
Meltdown Disaster... or at least it feels like it.
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 148155" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Julie, you are not a bad mom. What happened today is about something going on in your son's brain that has yet to be uncovered. Once it is identified and the appopriate interventions are put into place, things will get better. Honest.</p><p> </p><p>Until that time, I have a few thoughts for you:</p><p> </p><p>First, talk to him in advance before entering any store about what you will and won't buy for him and for the family. And then stick to it (don't add any extras for good behavior because he will get the message that you will keep buying things for him).</p><p> </p><p>Second, try to limit your errands to one stop a day if at all possible. Often the sensory stimulation of more than one store is just too much for our difficult children to handle.</p><p> </p><p>Third, have you considered getting a weekly babysitter so you can do your errands in peace? Or do you have a grocery store in your area that will deliver for a small fee (definitely worth it to avoid difficult child meltdowns)?</p><p> </p><p>FWIW, my easy child/difficult child 3's meltdowns over things I won't buy for her emanate from two different feelings: 1) depression - she needs instant gratification to feel better about her life; and 2) anxiety - she is fearful that if I don't buy it now, someone else will and her opportunity to have that object will disappear.</p><p> </p><p>I don't handle the situation any differently from how you did, but just understanding where she is coming from makes it easier for me to believe that her behavior is not about being a bad parent or a bad child.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 148155, member: 2423"] Julie, you are not a bad mom. What happened today is about something going on in your son's brain that has yet to be uncovered. Once it is identified and the appopriate interventions are put into place, things will get better. Honest. Until that time, I have a few thoughts for you: First, talk to him in advance before entering any store about what you will and won't buy for him and for the family. And then stick to it (don't add any extras for good behavior because he will get the message that you will keep buying things for him). Second, try to limit your errands to one stop a day if at all possible. Often the sensory stimulation of more than one store is just too much for our difficult children to handle. Third, have you considered getting a weekly babysitter so you can do your errands in peace? Or do you have a grocery store in your area that will deliver for a small fee (definitely worth it to avoid difficult child meltdowns)? FWIW, my easy child/difficult child 3's meltdowns over things I won't buy for her emanate from two different feelings: 1) depression - she needs instant gratification to feel better about her life; and 2) anxiety - she is fearful that if I don't buy it now, someone else will and her opportunity to have that object will disappear. I don't handle the situation any differently from how you did, but just understanding where she is coming from makes it easier for me to believe that her behavior is not about being a bad parent or a bad child. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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Meltdown Disaster... or at least it feels like it.
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