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Substance Abuse
Mini update, difficult child now living out of state
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 625509"><p>We had Easter Brunch with difficult child yesterday. He told us he is moving to another state for work. He left today. Surprise!</p><p></p><p>He decided he didn't like his current summer job (yes, 3 years post dropout he still works a "summer" job) and that he & 3 of his buddies decided to take a job doing menial labor with a commercial excavator fulfilling a major utility contract in another state. Supposedly, the contractor is paying all of their housing, travel & transportation costs. I checked out the contractor & they seem legit. Who knows if difficult child is really working for them? I can't imagine a business of that nature wouldn't do drug testing. I worry that this is some harebrained independent contract scheme he & his buddies cooked up. He came to say goodbye this morning & told us they are starting on the border of Colorado. That is the only thing that doesn't surprise me.</p><p></p><p>I am just bothered by it all. I know I need to let go, but he is my kid - even at 22. And I am only expressing my feelings to you guys, I sent him off with a smile. </p><p></p><p>I just can't get used to or accept that he isn't making any progress. He isn't maturing at all. He's moved on from hanging out with older peers- who have now graduated & settled down- to hanging with younger peers; his own age peers have left him & their own "summer jobs" behind. The 3 guys he is working with are 2- 3 years younger than he is and taking the gig for tuition money. It's like difficult child is still stuck at age 19 or something. </p><p></p><p>He has no direction, he isn't working toward anything. He's still keeping the college student charade up to himself. Pc17 is taking AP exams in a few weeks and difficult child explained some of the chemistry questions to easy child over brunch. Sometimes, I forget how academically smart he was and difficult child clearly still prizes it, yet he did NOTHING with it. </p><p></p><p>I know I am not expressing myself clearly. It's just that he is so out of touch with reality - classic burnout style - and it rubs me the wrong way. Floating from job to job, nothing to show for himself, not creating a future for himself or laying even the tiniest foundation for a future. He's 22, I hoped for some progress or direction by now and there is none.</p><p></p><p>I am afraid for him, I worry about this utter lack of motivation/ambition and I worry about his safety. And I am sad. I don't think he will change.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for the Monday morning pity party.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 625509"] We had Easter Brunch with difficult child yesterday. He told us he is moving to another state for work. He left today. Surprise! He decided he didn't like his current summer job (yes, 3 years post dropout he still works a "summer" job) and that he & 3 of his buddies decided to take a job doing menial labor with a commercial excavator fulfilling a major utility contract in another state. Supposedly, the contractor is paying all of their housing, travel & transportation costs. I checked out the contractor & they seem legit. Who knows if difficult child is really working for them? I can't imagine a business of that nature wouldn't do drug testing. I worry that this is some harebrained independent contract scheme he & his buddies cooked up. He came to say goodbye this morning & told us they are starting on the border of Colorado. That is the only thing that doesn't surprise me. I am just bothered by it all. I know I need to let go, but he is my kid - even at 22. And I am only expressing my feelings to you guys, I sent him off with a smile. I just can't get used to or accept that he isn't making any progress. He isn't maturing at all. He's moved on from hanging out with older peers- who have now graduated & settled down- to hanging with younger peers; his own age peers have left him & their own "summer jobs" behind. The 3 guys he is working with are 2- 3 years younger than he is and taking the gig for tuition money. It's like difficult child is still stuck at age 19 or something. He has no direction, he isn't working toward anything. He's still keeping the college student charade up to himself. Pc17 is taking AP exams in a few weeks and difficult child explained some of the chemistry questions to easy child over brunch. Sometimes, I forget how academically smart he was and difficult child clearly still prizes it, yet he did NOTHING with it. I know I am not expressing myself clearly. It's just that he is so out of touch with reality - classic burnout style - and it rubs me the wrong way. Floating from job to job, nothing to show for himself, not creating a future for himself or laying even the tiniest foundation for a future. He's 22, I hoped for some progress or direction by now and there is none. I am afraid for him, I worry about this utter lack of motivation/ambition and I worry about his safety. And I am sad. I don't think he will change. Sorry for the Monday morning pity party. [/QUOTE]
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