MWM, great thoughts. I texted him about trusting him to make his own good decision about the burn on his arm. That's another strange thing about JT. He seems to need a lot of attention for that type of thing. Sometimes he shows me the tiniest supposed cuts, so tiny I can barely see, and complains about them profusely. He enjoys any sort of drama, most often self-created.
JT has already tried to ask us to cosign on a car loan. He actually tried to convince us that co-signing could not leave us on the hook for anything financially; that it was just a signature. We explained over and over to him what co-signing means, and that we would be responsible to pay if he did not. I'm sure he knew exactly what it mean (he's quite bright), but was trying to pull one over on us.
We have definitely communicated that we will not be assisting him financially in any way any more. We have helped him considerably financially over the past two years, and we're done. Nor may he come back home ever again. He refused to live by simple rules such as leaving cigarettes, lighters, and knives out of the house, no porn, and getting out of bed to attend either work or school, cleaning up after himself, and treating everyone respectfully, etc.
You bring up a great point about the sudden contact when he's been pretty distant (although I would say it is a mutual distance) lately. I think it is highly likely that he will have some sort of financial crisis pretty soon. Although he makes very good money, he is renting alone, so he has all of the expenses to cover himself, plus we know he is not paying all of his bills. He's been on his own financially for approximately five months, which is beginning to be enough time for him to accumulate additional delinquent bills.
Since he is currently between girlfriends (no longer with the not-pregnant girlfriend whom he claimed was pregnant about 6 weeks ago, and also no longer with the two girlfriends (one of whom he was engaged to for two weeks after learning the other girlfriend wasn't pregnant after all) since then), he probably has no one left to mooch from. One of the first things he likes to do with new girlfriends is get on their cell phone plans. So, right now, he is on his former fiancee's plan. He has burned bridges in the past by failing to keep up with his promised payments.
Yes, you're probably right. He is probably just about to ask for money or something else. It is SO hard to realize that there is nothing genuine about his behavior. Everything is a manipulation to get what he wants. He tries to exploit my little hope that maybe things could be wonderful. He knows I want that, so he uses it against me. Of course I would love for all of us to go fishing. I would give anything to be able to trust JT. husband says that's why JT only text messages me and not him; because JT knows my mothers heart is aching, while husband is more easily detached. I've just been burned so many times. He's like a chameleon, shifting colors to suit the background in which he finds himself; shifting morals to suit his wants.
I will keep my antennae up and alert to looming potential requests for something from us. Sigh . . .
