I agree with albatross.
Not to say that this is all innocent and that difficult child isn't going to rear his ugly head but until then it can be enjoyed. Do you want to miss all the good things because he once was bad? Do you goals or guidelines he must meet before he is acceptable again?
He seems to be more than willing to bend in order to have contact. He also seems to be initiating that contact and not asking for unreasonable accommodations.
Here's the deal. Your difficult child is 20. He will most likely drink on occasion. Which is illegal but not at all unusual. He will have some dumb girl or guy he hangs out with who will text something stupid using his phone to start drama. Or he may have done it. I know my difficult child's friends do. He will most likely be in and out of relationships on a regular basis until he decides to settle down. That's normal. His financial instabilities at age 20 are actually normal.
My point is that since he is a difficult child he may exacerbate all those things by having difficult child friends and making difficult child decisions. But there is no way to know for sure that HE is changing. The cops don't arrest you for doing better. You don't get a gold ribbon for not getting in trouble.
What you can do is take the positive and leave the bad. Take these positive type requests and show him that when he is good he gets the love he wants. If he is bad he doesn't.
I am in that place with my difficult child right now. She isn't doing bad things but she is still a difficult child and I have to learn to navigate that. I take the good and don't engage with the bad. I negotiate better terms. One thing I am not doing is jumping in head first. It is going to be a while before that happens but I am teaching her that her good actions get her good results where bad ones get her ignored.
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