SB.... I also believe my son has some major underlying issues that complicate the substance abuse issues... or the substance abuse complicates the underlying issues. I do think my son has some kind of personality disorder and I have come to realize that probably wont change, at least not any time soon. He also lies lies lies so I cant really believe anything he says. That breaks my heart because honesty in a relationship is very important to me.... I would not have a relationship with anyone else who likes to me like my son does. So now I take what he says with a grain of salt. I know better than to believe him.
So take care of yourself... and follow your heart. If you want contact with your son, then have contact. If you need a break from him then take a break. You dont have to see him to keep the door open, just take care not to slam it shut.
Dont discuss or debate or argue with him about his substance use. It will do no good, make no difference and just get in the way of your relationshp. You know he has a substance abuse problem... he is in denial and at some point he may get out of denial but it wont be because of anything you say. My son finally recently admitted (after I asked) that yes he has a substance abuse problem.... but I that didnt come from anything I said.
I think if your son keeps up doing the things he is doing he will end up in jail at some point. And to be honest that might be good for him. I know that sounds awful but really jail is a very humbling experience. It is the one thing that seems to make an impact on my son because he really hates hates hates being in jail.... and usually after he is in jail he does well for awhile when they get into him into a program. The problem is after a while he seems to forget the consequence of jail.
TL
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