My daughter, too, has underlying mental health issues. We have heard many, many different diagnoses over the years but I believe she has borderline personality disorder.
The thing is, both my counselor and her counselor have said that the borderline alone is not enough to keep her from being an functional adult albeit with some issues. It is the addiction piece that is keeping her from being able to live a functional, independent, adult life.
My difficult child readily acknowledges that she is an addict but just doesn't seem to want to do the work it would take to get clean and sober. It is much easier for her to blame the mental illness component and want people to take care of her while she does whatever she wants to do.
So for my mental health, I have chosen to set strict boundaries where I can't be manipulated or lied to which means I have very little contact with her. It has taken me years to get here, though, and I still love her very much.
I have told her that when she is a clean and sober independent adult, I would love to reestablish closer ties but I have to see it in action . . . not words. Her words don't mean anything to me anymore.
~Kathy
