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Miss 3 with likely Aspergers - how do you deal with anxiety episodes?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 364928" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Welcome. I've been a bit busy lately, not been able to check this forum as often as I usually do although I'm over in General a lot, t least lurking.</p><p></p><p>We've been there with the early autism spectrum assessments and issues - as husband says, autism doesn't just run in our family, it gallops!</p><p></p><p>With the food faddishness - we found it was best, at least initially, to give way. If you're still not sure what she likes and how she likes it (because her tastes are still developing) then involving her in the process will help a great deal. For these kids, the world is a confusing, disorganised place and any way they can use to try to make it more predictable is what they often aim for. So they try to control playmates, people around them (including adults - these kids don't discriminate) and every other aspect that they feel they need to control in order to reduce their anxiety.</p><p></p><p>This anxiety is often a lot more than just "I'm feeling mildly apprehensive." It can go right up to blind terror and a sense of impending doom. We took difficult child 3 to Port Arthur and even though he didn't know a thing about the place, he was so upset and so anxious, we had to remove him. When we went back next day (to drop off his sister) we couldn't get difficult child 3 past the car park. </p><p></p><p>Similarly, on a holiday to New Zealand three yeas ago, difficult child 3 had said he was going to be scared of being in a country that was so highly volcanic. So we visited Rotarua but didn't stay there. The whole day we were in Rotarua, difficult child 3 was complaining of feeling sick, nauseous and had a sense of dread. Now, he's older and we were able to explain to him that it was his anxiety; but he said, "This feels far worse than just anxiety. I really am dying."</p><p>But as we drove away, he began to feel better.</p><p></p><p>We do the breathing exercises (the candle idea is a good one). We found counting seconds when breathing in and out helped, also making sure that when he breathed he was breathing from his diaphragm and not lifting his shoulders.</p><p></p><p>It is important to validate the child's fears and anxieties. The feelings are genuine. But there isn't necessarily a serious threat to her safety. So you have to walk a tightrope - "I know you are really scared. You're not being silly. But you are safe, because..."</p><p></p><p>Logic and reason can help, as far as she can understand. But you need to use baby steps, not force the issue too far, too fast.</p><p></p><p>Also, girls are a bit different to boys, when it comes o how autism and Asperger's is expressed. It can make diagnosis a lot more tricky.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, welcome to the site from another Aussie.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 364928, member: 1991"] Welcome. I've been a bit busy lately, not been able to check this forum as often as I usually do although I'm over in General a lot, t least lurking. We've been there with the early autism spectrum assessments and issues - as husband says, autism doesn't just run in our family, it gallops! With the food faddishness - we found it was best, at least initially, to give way. If you're still not sure what she likes and how she likes it (because her tastes are still developing) then involving her in the process will help a great deal. For these kids, the world is a confusing, disorganised place and any way they can use to try to make it more predictable is what they often aim for. So they try to control playmates, people around them (including adults - these kids don't discriminate) and every other aspect that they feel they need to control in order to reduce their anxiety. This anxiety is often a lot more than just "I'm feeling mildly apprehensive." It can go right up to blind terror and a sense of impending doom. We took difficult child 3 to Port Arthur and even though he didn't know a thing about the place, he was so upset and so anxious, we had to remove him. When we went back next day (to drop off his sister) we couldn't get difficult child 3 past the car park. Similarly, on a holiday to New Zealand three yeas ago, difficult child 3 had said he was going to be scared of being in a country that was so highly volcanic. So we visited Rotarua but didn't stay there. The whole day we were in Rotarua, difficult child 3 was complaining of feeling sick, nauseous and had a sense of dread. Now, he's older and we were able to explain to him that it was his anxiety; but he said, "This feels far worse than just anxiety. I really am dying." But as we drove away, he began to feel better. We do the breathing exercises (the candle idea is a good one). We found counting seconds when breathing in and out helped, also making sure that when he breathed he was breathing from his diaphragm and not lifting his shoulders. It is important to validate the child's fears and anxieties. The feelings are genuine. But there isn't necessarily a serious threat to her safety. So you have to walk a tightrope - "I know you are really scared. You're not being silly. But you are safe, because..." Logic and reason can help, as far as she can understand. But you need to use baby steps, not force the issue too far, too fast. Also, girls are a bit different to boys, when it comes o how autism and Asperger's is expressed. It can make diagnosis a lot more tricky. Anyway, welcome to the site from another Aussie. Marg [/QUOTE]
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