Hello Ispeakwhale,
Welcome to the forum. I am just acknowledging your post. You have found a safe place to here to share and seek insight and wisdom from the folks who all understand too well the type of understandable confusion and heartache you are experiencing. I am thankful for this group. Your daughter is still so young, so I understand your pain in being fearful and concerned for her.
You did the right thing in asking your daughter to leave your home. You sound like a strong person. One of the first things you might do on this site is read the Detachment Article at the top of this forum. Here’s the link. http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/#axzz487YwFtvs
We need to lovingly detach from the emotions, fear and guilt we have all felt at one time or other about our difficult children. And yes, I do believe it gets easier in the sense that as we learn more, and don’t hide the truth, and learn to detach, it is very liberating. It is such a relief just to put it all out on this forum and know the people here understand, and have been through similar things, and even more difficult things than we might have thought bearable, and that you are not alone.
Just remember what your daughter has done / is doing and what you are going through in dealing with her situation and its effect on you, has nothing to do with you, in the sense that you did not cause it, and cannot fix it.
You have your other Aspie son. Many here on PE and other conduct disorder forums have children on the spectrum, and you will find it so helpful and supportive to read the other threads and gain the wisdom and guidance from folks who have been where you are, and have gained some peace and sanity back.
I don’t have specific wisdom at the moment for your unique circumstances, except to encourage some strength and comfort to assure you that you will be alright and you will get through this. I have been reading this forum since last fall, and I have learned so much from the others here and grown in detachment, confidence, and releasing fear. It is still not easy and everyday seems to require some effort to renew the mind and claim peace. But things are definitely better with maintaining the detachment.
Others on this site more in tune with your specific unique situation will be along soon to support you. and offer some wisdom. Most folks in USA are asleep now, but will respond to you in the morning. I am thankful you found us here. I know you are already relieved to have shared your situation. It is such a relief to be here with others who really know from experience what is happening. Stay with us. It helps to keep posting and reading others’ threads. Hugs to you.
~Kalahou
