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Parent Emeritus
Missing Daughter....wondering what to do? Does it get easier???
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 687701" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome ISW2,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for the heartache you are going through with your daughter. From what you are telling us you have tried to get her help and that is all you really can do.</p><p>You cannot force someone to participate in therapy. I am glad to hear you say that she is getting some counseling at college. I do worry however with a diagnosis of PTSD. I think sometimes therapists are too quick to slap a label on something.</p><p></p><p>As for Facebook, I strongly suggest you not read anything she posts. You have to develop some really thick skin to look at what our d_c's can post on social media and until you have that thick skin, and even then, be very cautious about what she posts.</p><p>For whatever reason many of our d_c's want to "publicly shame us" The reason they do this is unclear but I think it's because they are hurting so much and we have stopped giving into them, that they are going to make us suffer. However, we only suffer if we give them the power.</p><p></p><p>One of the hardest things to accept is that we as parents have no control over our adult children. It is a vital step in the process of detaching.</p><p></p><p>Many here have found that when we stop "helping" (enabling) our kids they will ramp it up and try and guilt us or manipulate us into giving them what they want. Please be very careful to not fall into the "guilt trap".</p><p></p><p>You sound strong and have already taken a big step in telling her she can no longer live in your home. I don't like the term "kicked out" mainly because our Difficult Child will use it against us. It just has such a negative tone to it. I prefer to say "I have liberated you from the confines of MY home and my rules"</p><p></p><p>Thank you for reaching out to us, I'm glad you are here with us now. You will find wonderful support here.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you..........</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 687701, member: 18516"] Welcome ISW2, I am so sorry for the heartache you are going through with your daughter. From what you are telling us you have tried to get her help and that is all you really can do. You cannot force someone to participate in therapy. I am glad to hear you say that she is getting some counseling at college. I do worry however with a diagnosis of PTSD. I think sometimes therapists are too quick to slap a label on something. As for Facebook, I strongly suggest you not read anything she posts. You have to develop some really thick skin to look at what our d_c's can post on social media and until you have that thick skin, and even then, be very cautious about what she posts. For whatever reason many of our d_c's want to "publicly shame us" The reason they do this is unclear but I think it's because they are hurting so much and we have stopped giving into them, that they are going to make us suffer. However, we only suffer if we give them the power. One of the hardest things to accept is that we as parents have no control over our adult children. It is a vital step in the process of detaching. Many here have found that when we stop "helping" (enabling) our kids they will ramp it up and try and guilt us or manipulate us into giving them what they want. Please be very careful to not fall into the "guilt trap". You sound strong and have already taken a big step in telling her she can no longer live in your home. I don't like the term "kicked out" mainly because our Difficult Child will use it against us. It just has such a negative tone to it. I prefer to say "I have liberated you from the confines of MY home and my rules" Thank you for reaching out to us, I'm glad you are here with us now. You will find wonderful support here. ((HUGS)) to you.......... :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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Missing Daughter....wondering what to do? Does it get easier???
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