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Missing or just AWOL?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 746884" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Laura</p><p></p><p>I can't comment on the veracity of what your son tells you. I know that my own son lies to me. What I can say is that for some time now from your posts it seems like your son's life is utter chaos and that chaos, more and more is affecting/infecting your life. You are caught up in his ups and downs which he imposes upon you, without concern. Your own well-being seems to have become a question of his well-being. That is your sense of self, your sense of safety and contentment are contingent upon whether or not you perceive he is safe and doing well, achieving goals or not. In this most all of us here, share this same state of affairs until we see it, and change it.</p><p></p><p>What is wrong with this picture, as long as we live it? With them, we are in continual crisis, over which we have no control. We are stressed. We are afraid. We feel dependent. We feel powerless because we are powerless.</p><p></p><p>Anything could happen and be happening. It could be jail. It could be intensive care. It could be a drug-fueled haze. He could be ill. He could be in the street. He could be injured. And I am speaking here about my own son. As long as I am living inside of him, his reality, I am out there with him. With no information. I have lost myself.</p><p></p><p>To me, for me, the thing to do is to take my own life back, little by little. It is not that I don't care what happens for my son, but I have to care (more? some? a little?) about myself. So do you.</p><p></p><p>First, we cannot protect them. We cannot influence them. We can only lose ourselves. Second, we matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 746884, member: 18958"] Dear Laura I can't comment on the veracity of what your son tells you. I know that my own son lies to me. What I can say is that for some time now from your posts it seems like your son's life is utter chaos and that chaos, more and more is affecting/infecting your life. You are caught up in his ups and downs which he imposes upon you, without concern. Your own well-being seems to have become a question of his well-being. That is your sense of self, your sense of safety and contentment are contingent upon whether or not you perceive he is safe and doing well, achieving goals or not. In this most all of us here, share this same state of affairs until we see it, and change it. What is wrong with this picture, as long as we live it? With them, we are in continual crisis, over which we have no control. We are stressed. We are afraid. We feel dependent. We feel powerless because we are powerless. Anything could happen and be happening. It could be jail. It could be intensive care. It could be a drug-fueled haze. He could be ill. He could be in the street. He could be injured. And I am speaking here about my own son. As long as I am living inside of him, his reality, I am out there with him. With no information. I have lost myself. To me, for me, the thing to do is to take my own life back, little by little. It is not that I don't care what happens for my son, but I have to care (more? some? a little?) about myself. So do you. First, we cannot protect them. We cannot influence them. We can only lose ourselves. Second, we matter. [/QUOTE]
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