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Substance Abuse
"Mom can I please come home"
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 409080" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I hate to sound this, Nancy, but right now after all she's done and said and done and said again only to end up right back at the same place, I doubt that you and husband being there for her or helping her is going to turn her around. Whether she has any intention of really trying or not, every time you step in and give her another chance, she blows it. Think of it this way- since she got out of treatment it appears that the only time she means it is when she isn't living in your home, you aren't giving her money or rides or whatever. And what do you expect to hear from her when you have this big talk- other than if you and husband do ABC for her, she'll give sobriety another shot? It doesn't work that way. It has to be non-negotiable. I know she hasn't been saying that outright but she knows you well enough how to turn it into that and knows that it has always worked in the past. Chances are potheads told her she needed to leave after a couple of weeks and she has no place to go so she'll tell you what you want to hear. If she has to go to a couple of AA meetings to get you back where she wants you and it buys her a couple of more months, well that's good enough. At her age and after all this, I doubt seriously that she's had a major revelation and the sudden power to turn herself around on her own after what- 2 weeks? JMHO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 409080, member: 3699"] I hate to sound this, Nancy, but right now after all she's done and said and done and said again only to end up right back at the same place, I doubt that you and husband being there for her or helping her is going to turn her around. Whether she has any intention of really trying or not, every time you step in and give her another chance, she blows it. Think of it this way- since she got out of treatment it appears that the only time she means it is when she isn't living in your home, you aren't giving her money or rides or whatever. And what do you expect to hear from her when you have this big talk- other than if you and husband do ABC for her, she'll give sobriety another shot? It doesn't work that way. It has to be non-negotiable. I know she hasn't been saying that outright but she knows you well enough how to turn it into that and knows that it has always worked in the past. Chances are potheads told her she needed to leave after a couple of weeks and she has no place to go so she'll tell you what you want to hear. If she has to go to a couple of AA meetings to get you back where she wants you and it buys her a couple of more months, well that's good enough. At her age and after all this, I doubt seriously that she's had a major revelation and the sudden power to turn herself around on her own after what- 2 weeks? JMHO. [/QUOTE]
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"Mom can I please come home"
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