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Substance Abuse
"Mom can I please come home"
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 409173" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry that the merry-go-round just keeps on going. klmno, rlsnights and Kfld have super great advice. If she truly wants to change she will have at a MINIMUM made some calls to people to find out what she do to get the support she needs to sober up. It will be terribly hard to see her face to face and tell her she cannot come home. I am so very sorry that this is even a remote possibility for something you may need to do.</p><p> </p><p>PLEASE go back and search for all of your threads about her getting sober, doing treatemnt, relapsing, leaving, calling home for rescue, detoxing for a very little while and then starting to abuse her position in the family and your love, using, leaving, ad nauseum. Read ALL of your posts and maybe even create a timeline. NOT to dwell on her problems but to give yourself a real, visible view of the cycle she is in. When all you have is the upset phone call or the meeting where she begs for help and promises this that and hte other, it is easy to say "OK" - after all this is your child and no parent really wants their child to be so miserable and upset. When you have a graph that shows you exactly what "help" and her promises have meant in the past it is easier to hold firm on your unwillingness to enable her addictions and unhealthy lifestyle. </p><p> </p><p>Have you discussed this with your alanon group? Do they have any ideas that could help you make this decision? Will you be helping her or enabling her addiction if you allow her to come home? What are the odds that in a week or so she has truly hit bottom and is truly ready to surrender and do the hard work necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety for more than a couple of days or weeks.</p><p> </p><p>((((((((((hugs))))))))))</p><p> </p><p>I know this is breaking your heart. Don't neglect yourself or let husband neglect himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 409173, member: 1233"] I am so sorry that the merry-go-round just keeps on going. klmno, rlsnights and Kfld have super great advice. If she truly wants to change she will have at a MINIMUM made some calls to people to find out what she do to get the support she needs to sober up. It will be terribly hard to see her face to face and tell her she cannot come home. I am so very sorry that this is even a remote possibility for something you may need to do. PLEASE go back and search for all of your threads about her getting sober, doing treatemnt, relapsing, leaving, calling home for rescue, detoxing for a very little while and then starting to abuse her position in the family and your love, using, leaving, ad nauseum. Read ALL of your posts and maybe even create a timeline. NOT to dwell on her problems but to give yourself a real, visible view of the cycle she is in. When all you have is the upset phone call or the meeting where she begs for help and promises this that and hte other, it is easy to say "OK" - after all this is your child and no parent really wants their child to be so miserable and upset. When you have a graph that shows you exactly what "help" and her promises have meant in the past it is easier to hold firm on your unwillingness to enable her addictions and unhealthy lifestyle. Have you discussed this with your alanon group? Do they have any ideas that could help you make this decision? Will you be helping her or enabling her addiction if you allow her to come home? What are the odds that in a week or so she has truly hit bottom and is truly ready to surrender and do the hard work necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety for more than a couple of days or weeks. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) I know this is breaking your heart. Don't neglect yourself or let husband neglect himself. [/QUOTE]
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