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Substance Abuse
Moms and tough love.....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 507239"><p>So I was driving along this morning thinking about my mom. She and I were very close and I was very lucky having her as my mom. She died in 2004 and I miss her a lot. Anyway my difficult child loved her a lot too and I was thinking about the unconditional love she had for him and me etc. etc. I was thinking how I could always count on her and how she would always be there for me.</p><p></p><p>And it struck me how this tough love thing, having to tell your kid you wont help them, so goes against our natural grain, our natural instincts to help our child when they are in trouble. I was thinking of myself, of PG and all of us on this board.</p><p></p><p>I think in our situations it is the most loving thing we can do, to let them fall, to let them find their way, to stop enabling them to use drugs. But it still goes against our instincts. It is so counterintuitive. At least for me.</p><p></p><p>I always know with my mom that if I was in trouble I could call her and she would just through hoops to help me and I want my son to feel that way too.... and in fact he does and totally takes advantage of that fact!!! I was not a difficult child and never took advantage of my mothers love. She never had to do the tough love thing with me. I don't have to do it with my daughter.</p><p></p><p>It really is awful that we have to be in this position. It is not natural to have to do this!!! And yet it has to be done.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 507239"] So I was driving along this morning thinking about my mom. She and I were very close and I was very lucky having her as my mom. She died in 2004 and I miss her a lot. Anyway my difficult child loved her a lot too and I was thinking about the unconditional love she had for him and me etc. etc. I was thinking how I could always count on her and how she would always be there for me. And it struck me how this tough love thing, having to tell your kid you wont help them, so goes against our natural grain, our natural instincts to help our child when they are in trouble. I was thinking of myself, of PG and all of us on this board. I think in our situations it is the most loving thing we can do, to let them fall, to let them find their way, to stop enabling them to use drugs. But it still goes against our instincts. It is so counterintuitive. At least for me. I always know with my mom that if I was in trouble I could call her and she would just through hoops to help me and I want my son to feel that way too.... and in fact he does and totally takes advantage of that fact!!! I was not a difficult child and never took advantage of my mothers love. She never had to do the tough love thing with me. I don't have to do it with my daughter. It really is awful that we have to be in this position. It is not natural to have to do this!!! And yet it has to be done. TL [/QUOTE]
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