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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 20553" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>I'm glad you found us!</p><p></p><p>Those of us here firmly believe that ODD is a symptom and not a disorder. Especially when children are displaying other developmental issues it's important to dig deeper to find underlying neurological causes because very often they are there.</p><p>You don't want to stop at ODD-use it as a confirmation to keep looking.</p><p></p><p>The scene you described about every day things becoming a battle was the story of my life from the time my son was around 3. We played out scenes like the shoes over and over with me running on the assumption he was just very strong willed because there were no apparent developmental delays. In fact it was just the opposite: he was extremely bright and advanced in the academic type stuff. It was exhausting and time consuming and I had too many times when I was just furious like you were tonight. When my son was five we had him assessed and learned that he had very good reasons for most of the battles he was waging, including the food and clothing wars. I felt sick over all the things I was trying to "force"--hopefully we can spare you 3 years of battles and the same mistakes I made.</p><p></p><p>I am going to recommend that you do some research into two areas. The first is called Sensory Integration Disorder or Sensory Processing Disorder. Children with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) has sensory systems that are off kilter from the typical child-they perceive it differently in that noises, light, tastes, odors, touch, etc. are often higher or lower on their perception scale. Imagine going through a day in a way too tight pair of pants with an itchy sweater over a heat rash, feeling like you were going to heave like a odor and stomach sensitive pregnant woman every time you sat down to the food your parents put in front of you and all the sound coming in from home, the classroom, and the grocery store felt like it does on the day you have a migraine. *That's* what going through normal sensory experiences can feel like to a child with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)--it's no wonder they wage war on us.</p><p></p><p>Here are two links on that:</p><p><a href="http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm" target="_blank">http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm</a></p><p></p><p>Whenever parents visit here with a child who has speech delay and behavioral issues, we always urge them to research the Autistic Spectrum Disorders. It's almost always the last thing on their minds but we do this because doctors and often others like psychologists are notoriously bad at recognizing it. This is especially true in kids that are borderline in their symptoms and those kids often go through a good chunk of childhood misdiagnosed and misunderstood. I'm not saying your child falls into this category because we don't diagnose here but you will want to check it out thoroughly, especially if there's a family history of anxiety, obsessive compulsive tendencies or disorders, or extremely gifted scholarly type people.</p><p></p><p>Lastly, you will want to get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and read the thread at the top of the board about it. It's a parenting strategy that often works with these children but it's going to require some changes on your part. Today you decided to wage war in public over getting her into shoes after a long day when you both were tired. Once you've been accustomed to this management style, you'll know that isn't worth a battle except in dangerously cold weather or at times when you truly couldn't carry her, and adapt. Until you're up to speed, if shoes are becoming a problem find a pair of slippers that are comfy to her that aren't soft bottomed and toss them into the dance bag for next week.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 20553, member: 701"] I'm glad you found us! Those of us here firmly believe that ODD is a symptom and not a disorder. Especially when children are displaying other developmental issues it's important to dig deeper to find underlying neurological causes because very often they are there. You don't want to stop at ODD-use it as a confirmation to keep looking. The scene you described about every day things becoming a battle was the story of my life from the time my son was around 3. We played out scenes like the shoes over and over with me running on the assumption he was just very strong willed because there were no apparent developmental delays. In fact it was just the opposite: he was extremely bright and advanced in the academic type stuff. It was exhausting and time consuming and I had too many times when I was just furious like you were tonight. When my son was five we had him assessed and learned that he had very good reasons for most of the battles he was waging, including the food and clothing wars. I felt sick over all the things I was trying to "force"--hopefully we can spare you 3 years of battles and the same mistakes I made. I am going to recommend that you do some research into two areas. The first is called Sensory Integration Disorder or Sensory Processing Disorder. Children with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) has sensory systems that are off kilter from the typical child-they perceive it differently in that noises, light, tastes, odors, touch, etc. are often higher or lower on their perception scale. Imagine going through a day in a way too tight pair of pants with an itchy sweater over a heat rash, feeling like you were going to heave like a odor and stomach sensitive pregnant woman every time you sat down to the food your parents put in front of you and all the sound coming in from home, the classroom, and the grocery store felt like it does on the day you have a migraine. *That's* what going through normal sensory experiences can feel like to a child with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)--it's no wonder they wage war on us. Here are two links on that: [URL]http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm[/URL] Whenever parents visit here with a child who has speech delay and behavioral issues, we always urge them to research the Autistic Spectrum Disorders. It's almost always the last thing on their minds but we do this because doctors and often others like psychologists are notoriously bad at recognizing it. This is especially true in kids that are borderline in their symptoms and those kids often go through a good chunk of childhood misdiagnosed and misunderstood. I'm not saying your child falls into this category because we don't diagnose here but you will want to check it out thoroughly, especially if there's a family history of anxiety, obsessive compulsive tendencies or disorders, or extremely gifted scholarly type people. Lastly, you will want to get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene and read the thread at the top of the board about it. It's a parenting strategy that often works with these children but it's going to require some changes on your part. Today you decided to wage war in public over getting her into shoes after a long day when you both were tired. Once you've been accustomed to this management style, you'll know that isn't worth a battle except in dangerously cold weather or at times when you truly couldn't carry her, and adapt. Until you're up to speed, if shoes are becoming a problem find a pair of slippers that are comfy to her that aren't soft bottomed and toss them into the dance bag for next week. [/QUOTE]
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