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More musings from the 'slow lane.'
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 655214" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh RE what a wonderful post. Thank you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love how you put this. I think actually feeling the physical separateness of ourselves from our blessed precious adult children is a very important step. For so long, I couldn't see where I stopped and he started. We were like one. He was my own son, I would say inside my head and heart over and over again. How can I refuse? That thinking and not seeing kept me stuck for a long, long time. Years went by. Nothing worked. Little by little I started to separate and I actually feel that physical and emotional separateness, that true letting go today. It's not about love. Both of my sons are on their own and I am over here, and they are over there. I am still a continuous work in progress, and you have so often shown me the next step, RE. Thank you. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is possible. That's the thing. Even seeing that it's possible, we love them so much and want so much for them, it takes so long to see that we can stop suffering. Not a cold hard-hearted thing, but a slow moving away from being responsible for someone else's choices. It is a growing thing. It doesn't happen all at once. It happens over time as our minds and hearts and spirits see a new way ahead. We do have choices. We can change. And then, one day, we WANT to change, and then we start to change. </p><p></p><p>I see our own journeys as exactly like theirs. We are all so stubbornly tied to our old ways of doing things, even when...they...so...obviously...do...not...work. </p><p></p><p>It has to come from each one of us...when we are ready. It's in God's Time, not our time, and it happens when it happens, and it won't happen one minute before it should. </p><p></p><p>We have to be so very sick and tired. RE, thank you for all you do with your powerful presence and witness and gentle and kind ways. </p><p></p><p>Do what you need to do, every day now, what is best for you, RE. And I hope that means stopping in here when you want to and when you can.</p><p></p><p>Big warm hugs, dear person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 655214, member: 17542"] Oh RE what a wonderful post. Thank you. I love how you put this. I think actually feeling the physical separateness of ourselves from our blessed precious adult children is a very important step. For so long, I couldn't see where I stopped and he started. We were like one. He was my own son, I would say inside my head and heart over and over again. How can I refuse? That thinking and not seeing kept me stuck for a long, long time. Years went by. Nothing worked. Little by little I started to separate and I actually feel that physical and emotional separateness, that true letting go today. It's not about love. Both of my sons are on their own and I am over here, and they are over there. I am still a continuous work in progress, and you have so often shown me the next step, RE. Thank you. It is possible. That's the thing. Even seeing that it's possible, we love them so much and want so much for them, it takes so long to see that we can stop suffering. Not a cold hard-hearted thing, but a slow moving away from being responsible for someone else's choices. It is a growing thing. It doesn't happen all at once. It happens over time as our minds and hearts and spirits see a new way ahead. We do have choices. We can change. And then, one day, we WANT to change, and then we start to change. I see our own journeys as exactly like theirs. We are all so stubbornly tied to our old ways of doing things, even when...they...so...obviously...do...not...work. It has to come from each one of us...when we are ready. It's in God's Time, not our time, and it happens when it happens, and it won't happen one minute before it should. We have to be so very sick and tired. RE, thank you for all you do with your powerful presence and witness and gentle and kind ways. Do what you need to do, every day now, what is best for you, RE. And I hope that means stopping in here when you want to and when you can. Big warm hugs, dear person. [/QUOTE]
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