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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687796" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>TL. So glad to read your post. Sounds, so so good.</p><p></p><p>I did not know about the research on Tough Love not being the right approach for some. In our case nothing, I mean nothing has worked better than all out support, with firm boundaries, feedback, lots of it, and more love. I mean who would have guessed? </p><p></p><p>I think we become so afraid and defended we can be afraid to love them.</p><p>Sounds great. </p><p>That is exactly what we are trying to do, TL. It felt really a risk at first, like flying blind. But my son really rose to the occasion. There have been lots of backslides but every single time we have dug deep in ourselves and tried again. He keeps showing us that we are doing the right thing.</p><p></p><p>It takes courage to love. And it takes courage and love to heal. How could it be otherwise?</p><p></p><p>We raised them in relationship. Then we turned into snipers. There were reasons, but we have moved back into the line of fire. And guess what? Nobody is shooting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687796, member: 18958"] TL. So glad to read your post. Sounds, so so good. I did not know about the research on Tough Love not being the right approach for some. In our case nothing, I mean nothing has worked better than all out support, with firm boundaries, feedback, lots of it, and more love. I mean who would have guessed? I think we become so afraid and defended we can be afraid to love them. Sounds great. That is exactly what we are trying to do, TL. It felt really a risk at first, like flying blind. But my son really rose to the occasion. There have been lots of backslides but every single time we have dug deep in ourselves and tried again. He keeps showing us that we are doing the right thing. It takes courage to love. And it takes courage and love to heal. How could it be otherwise? We raised them in relationship. Then we turned into snipers. There were reasons, but we have moved back into the line of fire. And guess what? Nobody is shooting. [/QUOTE]
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