Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Motivation - how do they get it if they don't already have it?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 418423" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>Thanks for the replies - I appreciate it!</p><p></p><p>External motivators work well for some things sometimes - like go take your shower and they you can have ice cream. I do not know how to motivate him to use the effort he needs to do the tasks that bore him or he doesn't like or are more challenging at SCHOOL. I get the impression from the school that they don't need to help him with that. Is that right? They act like I should be ecstatic that he gets 15 mins of social skills training per day. I've been told (by my school) that he would not get that much at any other school, nor would he get school counseling which he gets once a week for 30 mins. They are basically doing nothing to address his lack of motivation. If he gets by in his academics, that is good enough for them.</p><p></p><p>They had a system where the teacher was supposed to give him a sticker (that he could accumulate and turn in for free time minutes) whenever he turned in homework or worked hard. She wasn't giving him the stickers. We went round and round and round and the Sped teacher ended up changing the plan (since the teacher c/would not follow it) to the sped teacher writing on a calendar if he turned in homework and had zero behavioral incidents - then he would earn free time. I believe most of the problem is with the teacher- but I do see he doesn't want to work hard. He doesn't want to do something over than he's already done. He doesn't think practicing school work makes sense if he has already done it - it's a waste of time. The woman who wrote that letter already is saying she thinks he has too many supports at home and at school and he just needs to find his motivation within himself. So let's all back off and let him fail and see if he likes it. Does that sound like a good plan?</p><p></p><p>Background:</p><p>You can see his diagnosis below. He has had behavior problems, mostly with same age peers and at home following rules. He gets in fights with friends at school. He is controlling, bossy, wants things his way, stubborn - smart, capable, could be a very good leader. The school counselor and sped teacher see some aspie traits, but the upper professionals don't. Went thru a period where he would have major rages and meltdowns when frustrated or wouldn't get his way. That seems to have tapered off since adding Intuniv. He is a very picky eater - hardly likes anything. His general disposition is grumpy, serious.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 418423, member: 3930"] Thanks for the replies - I appreciate it! External motivators work well for some things sometimes - like go take your shower and they you can have ice cream. I do not know how to motivate him to use the effort he needs to do the tasks that bore him or he doesn't like or are more challenging at SCHOOL. I get the impression from the school that they don't need to help him with that. Is that right? They act like I should be ecstatic that he gets 15 mins of social skills training per day. I've been told (by my school) that he would not get that much at any other school, nor would he get school counseling which he gets once a week for 30 mins. They are basically doing nothing to address his lack of motivation. If he gets by in his academics, that is good enough for them. They had a system where the teacher was supposed to give him a sticker (that he could accumulate and turn in for free time minutes) whenever he turned in homework or worked hard. She wasn't giving him the stickers. We went round and round and round and the Sped teacher ended up changing the plan (since the teacher c/would not follow it) to the sped teacher writing on a calendar if he turned in homework and had zero behavioral incidents - then he would earn free time. I believe most of the problem is with the teacher- but I do see he doesn't want to work hard. He doesn't want to do something over than he's already done. He doesn't think practicing school work makes sense if he has already done it - it's a waste of time. The woman who wrote that letter already is saying she thinks he has too many supports at home and at school and he just needs to find his motivation within himself. So let's all back off and let him fail and see if he likes it. Does that sound like a good plan? Background: You can see his diagnosis below. He has had behavior problems, mostly with same age peers and at home following rules. He gets in fights with friends at school. He is controlling, bossy, wants things his way, stubborn - smart, capable, could be a very good leader. The school counselor and sped teacher see some aspie traits, but the upper professionals don't. Went thru a period where he would have major rages and meltdowns when frustrated or wouldn't get his way. That seems to have tapered off since adding Intuniv. He is a very picky eater - hardly likes anything. His general disposition is grumpy, serious. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Motivation - how do they get it if they don't already have it?
Top