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Mr. Sticky Fingers strikes again ... cousin's money
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 398892" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Grrr. The school stuff adds insult to the fury, in my opinion. I am sorry he is refusing to do what he needs to do. What are the consequences for not passing? Will they make him repeat the classes? Hold him back? Is he in a private school that you are paying for?</p><p> </p><p>IF you are paying for a private school, and he is purposely not getting good grades or doing his assignments (different from not being able to do the work because some legit problem like a learning disability), why not make him work to earn $$ to pay you back for the tuition? Private school costs a LOT of $$ and is a PRIVILEGE in our country. Many countries don't even HAVE schools for every child, much less nice private ones. By choosing to not do his schoolwork, he is wasting money that you and husband could use to take a trip, buy a car, add on to the house, etc... Given what I have heard even "cheap" private schools cost, you could do a LOT with that money if you chose to not pay for his private school.</p><p> </p><p>Why not have an open, honest discussion with him about how much his school costs and how expensive his choices to fritter away this education are? Let HIM feel the cost and the things you go without so that he can be in a good private school. Figure out how much you pay per year for the school, then break it down to how much it costs per week per class. If he is not going to make this a good investment, not going to give you a good return on your investment, then he can do work around the house/husband's business (cleaning, yardwork, etc...) to reimburse you for the classes he is wasting. He doesn't need the time to study because he isn't doing the work, so he can use that time to work to pay you back.</p><p> </p><p>It probably is not a common approach, and would horrify some people (those people have no business raising difficult children, lol), but it IS a natural consequence of his choices. Heck, sell his video game systems and games to help pay for the classes he isn't passing. He won't have time to play them if he has to work off that debt - no way can a kid with no education earn that kind of $$ with-o putting in a LOT of hours. Pawn the games/systems/etc... and put that $$ toward whatever his debt for classes he isn't doing the work for. Then make SURE he sees that you and husband are getting something you really ENJOY with that $$. He can buy his games back when/if he pays off his education debt first. If he cannot get them back before the pawn ticket expires, well, he can buy another set new or used when he earns enough money. Pawn shops always have game systems. Not pretty new ones, but they have them. </p><p> </p><p>This is another way to let him see the real world consequences of his actions. It isn't easy, and most parents never have to even dream nightmares about these kinds of consequences, but it might actually begin to get through to your son. If not, at least he will have some idea of how the real world works.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 398892, member: 1233"] Grrr. The school stuff adds insult to the fury, in my opinion. I am sorry he is refusing to do what he needs to do. What are the consequences for not passing? Will they make him repeat the classes? Hold him back? Is he in a private school that you are paying for? IF you are paying for a private school, and he is purposely not getting good grades or doing his assignments (different from not being able to do the work because some legit problem like a learning disability), why not make him work to earn $$ to pay you back for the tuition? Private school costs a LOT of $$ and is a PRIVILEGE in our country. Many countries don't even HAVE schools for every child, much less nice private ones. By choosing to not do his schoolwork, he is wasting money that you and husband could use to take a trip, buy a car, add on to the house, etc... Given what I have heard even "cheap" private schools cost, you could do a LOT with that money if you chose to not pay for his private school. Why not have an open, honest discussion with him about how much his school costs and how expensive his choices to fritter away this education are? Let HIM feel the cost and the things you go without so that he can be in a good private school. Figure out how much you pay per year for the school, then break it down to how much it costs per week per class. If he is not going to make this a good investment, not going to give you a good return on your investment, then he can do work around the house/husband's business (cleaning, yardwork, etc...) to reimburse you for the classes he is wasting. He doesn't need the time to study because he isn't doing the work, so he can use that time to work to pay you back. It probably is not a common approach, and would horrify some people (those people have no business raising difficult children, lol), but it IS a natural consequence of his choices. Heck, sell his video game systems and games to help pay for the classes he isn't passing. He won't have time to play them if he has to work off that debt - no way can a kid with no education earn that kind of $$ with-o putting in a LOT of hours. Pawn the games/systems/etc... and put that $$ toward whatever his debt for classes he isn't doing the work for. Then make SURE he sees that you and husband are getting something you really ENJOY with that $$. He can buy his games back when/if he pays off his education debt first. If he cannot get them back before the pawn ticket expires, well, he can buy another set new or used when he earns enough money. Pawn shops always have game systems. Not pretty new ones, but they have them. This is another way to let him see the real world consequences of his actions. It isn't easy, and most parents never have to even dream nightmares about these kinds of consequences, but it might actually begin to get through to your son. If not, at least he will have some idea of how the real world works. [/QUOTE]
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