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MrMike: Still in the same boat as 4 years ago
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 708931" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Mr. Mike, many people with mental illness, including me, work and are on their own. Some are so sick they must live in group homes on Disability but they are not in parental home. You know if he needs Disability and services. If he refuses them he will be screwed when you are gone. He needs to work, if he can, or get on community services and he may not be willing to do this in your house. He HAS to find some way to live without you. This is mandatory.</p><p></p><p>He is 26 already. Most 26 year olds are out of the house and thriving.</p><p></p><p>My auristic son, 23, is in his own apartment on his own dime. Although he gets some Disability and has two part time jobs. He is very innocent and I worry too, but I am 63 and wont be around forever. He needs to learn to depend on his case manager and others besides me. They will be there when his father, 61, and I am not.</p><p></p><p>Some adult kids need to learn the hard way to accept long term treatment in the community and that may include homelessness. You can help him find services and write them on paper for him so he knows who can help him. You can also put down the addresses of shelters and food pantries. Until he sees that maybe he does need to apply for Disability and the services that go with it, he may have to rough it. Sometimes they need to get tired of not doing the best for themselves. Are you maybe keeping him at home more for you than for him?</p><p></p><p>But maybe he CAN work somewhere. Even if he is on Disability, he can work. Like my son. Or maybe he is capable of sustainable full time work but doesnt try because Dad will save him and he knows it.</p><p></p><p>By feeling that you must take care of a 26 year old you are letting him know you feel he is helpless without you to take care of him. What will happen when you die? Hate to keep bringing up the gloomy topic, but it happens to the best of us! The World will see him as a homeless adult and he wont get any help if he isnt already getting it.</p><p></p><p>Prayers to you for strength and clarity. You have a lot on your plate. We all do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 708931, member: 1550"] Mr. Mike, many people with mental illness, including me, work and are on their own. Some are so sick they must live in group homes on Disability but they are not in parental home. You know if he needs Disability and services. If he refuses them he will be screwed when you are gone. He needs to work, if he can, or get on community services and he may not be willing to do this in your house. He HAS to find some way to live without you. This is mandatory. He is 26 already. Most 26 year olds are out of the house and thriving. My auristic son, 23, is in his own apartment on his own dime. Although he gets some Disability and has two part time jobs. He is very innocent and I worry too, but I am 63 and wont be around forever. He needs to learn to depend on his case manager and others besides me. They will be there when his father, 61, and I am not. Some adult kids need to learn the hard way to accept long term treatment in the community and that may include homelessness. You can help him find services and write them on paper for him so he knows who can help him. You can also put down the addresses of shelters and food pantries. Until he sees that maybe he does need to apply for Disability and the services that go with it, he may have to rough it. Sometimes they need to get tired of not doing the best for themselves. Are you maybe keeping him at home more for you than for him? But maybe he CAN work somewhere. Even if he is on Disability, he can work. Like my son. Or maybe he is capable of sustainable full time work but doesnt try because Dad will save him and he knows it. By feeling that you must take care of a 26 year old you are letting him know you feel he is helpless without you to take care of him. What will happen when you die? Hate to keep bringing up the gloomy topic, but it happens to the best of us! The World will see him as a homeless adult and he wont get any help if he isnt already getting it. Prayers to you for strength and clarity. You have a lot on your plate. We all do. [/QUOTE]
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MrMike: Still in the same boat as 4 years ago
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